Match Day Thread Crystal Palace v Noocaarstle United - Official Buildup/Match Day Thread

WTF the stadium announcer "Come on you Palace"

WHAT.A.CHANT.

 

You wouldnt want to go anywhere near the locals here. They werent first in the queue when good looks were being given out. Saw a guy on the street selling a crocodile for a pet yesterday - tempted to get it for the Mrs but she would only turn it into a handbag

 

Shut up you glitter beast

 

We are too ****ing good. Psychic marking there. No need to stop their attackers if you know they'll miss. So everyone switches off and lets Campbell get a free header from a Puncheon left-footed free-kick (WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT??? This boy uses both feet? A WITCH! A WITCH!!!!!!!!!! What is this devilry?!), which sails harmlessly wide.


#acepundit

 

Hahahahaha now now, that's uncalled for

 

Cross from Sissoko, does excellently to get past Kelly and get in a low cross, half-cleared, CB turned striker turned world's sexiest horse-face, Mike Williamson, shoots left footed.... And it's a belter. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close. 15ft to the right, 20ft lower, and hit with a lot more power and by someone capable of tying their own shoelaces without a diagram, and that would have been 2-0.

 

Williamson gets up, grappling with Campbell to stop the striker getting to a Puncheon cross from the right. Great defending, wanted it more.







And by "it", I mean buttsex. That's what it looked like.

 

Janmaat get's a yellow for breathing near Zaha. Dirty bastard!

 

Colback shows Janmaat how to get a proper yellow, halfing Zaha like a real man.

 

Haidara just jumped a billion miles in the air to get above 3 Palace players and clear it away from a sextuple-arsed cross from deep. I think I just unmasked that well known masked crime-fighter, Salmon-Boy, guys...

 

Puncheon ball in, Williamson, marking Colback from the corner like a boss, gets to the header to pop it up to Krul. What a guy

 

In other news, Lambert's been sacked, and I stubbed my toe on my chair. I don't know which is worse

 

The man with the many-sided arse departs, Bolasie comes on. Pardew's sexy all-out attack coming forth... You know, the same sexy all-out attack we know and love from the many ti... I mean, that one time... I mean... No.

 

We have absolutely nothing about us. It's pitiful.

 

**** sake. 20 mins from making Borogully look like the glittersexual he is, and ****ing Bolasie gets a cross past ****ing Haidara (who genuonley was having beast of a game) and ****ing Frazier Campbell beats the unbreakable defensive partnership of Colo and Willo... **** you Pardew

 

That'd 1-1 by the way Jakarta

 

By "unbreakable partnership", I guess you mean because the board won't stump up the £100k needed to buy someone better than Williamson?

 

shocking marking YET AGAIN in the centre of the goal

 

Bolasie calling mayhem with deep crossing, Haidara standing off. Zaha offside by 2 miles, but Pards has played his "offside doesn't count joker card" that Cisse benefited from a few times

 

Why is Carver doing NOTHING? Oh, yeah - he's a coach. Charnley forgot that someone in charge of the team has to have more up their sleeve than training.