Match Day Thread Crystal Palace v Noocaarstle United - Official Buildup/Match Day Thread

Pardew just turned his back on the football. Just like he turned his back on us.

Time to leak the naked photos online

 

Wow. Woeful doesn't quite cover it. I'd be suicidal if it wasn't for the entertainer, the guy's hilarious. Mike Williams, or something? Comedy genius.

 

Huh. Offside goal. Turns out Ameobi must not be to blame, Pards doesn't play the offside rule.

 

How dare you. That right there is a purple player, one of the 25 "chosen ones", I'll have you know...

 

Well done Krul. Our defenders, doing their best to **** things up since 1892

 

Someone seems thoroughly bored tonight!
Why?

 

I just saw Pardew again #hunkmobile #londonerlothario #cockneychique #grannywobbler

 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Totally deserved

1 shot, 1 goal. Domination.

 

If I could use an appropriate analogy, he dumped us, then bam. We lose 50 pounds and got a boob job

Sure, we've still got the lazy eye and the moustachioed lip above our frothingly lispy mouth, and we're rebounding with his ugly best-mate, but you can tell he's well jel

 

Can someone be a bit more descriptive please. I am sat in a plane on runway in Port Moresby trying to follow match and all i now know is Pardew is ignoring us fans who supported him faithfully and now one team has scored and i assume its us from the sarcastic comment about dominating. If you dont improve i am switching to BBC live.

 

Someone's mistaken Colo for a Mackem stripper... Save your copper for your away match with Sunderland

 

Great goal by Cisse.

 

Than

Thank you Gordon - thats more like it.

 

Notice that Carver seems to have taught them quickly how to win while playing crap - apparently its a trait of all the best teams.

 

Jesus wept. I'm bored to tears. Pards is gonna get into them and they will rape us 2nd half. We all know how great his half time team talks are and how his teams always win after going behind.

Double whammy for JPF - misuse of rape word and pumping Pards. Implosion imminent.

 

It's Newcastle 1 - 0 Palace, we've had one shot on goal. a beautiful poacher finish (header) from Cisse from a Janmaat cross far right, beyond a helpless Speroni. Terrible first half all-round. We've had one effort (the goal), one Cabella (instantly) charged down (and almost certainly wayward and very weak) effort, and beggar all meaningful play, consistently breaking down in the final third (or more usually around the half-way line), while Palace have given up probing against Haidara (who has the pace to prevent crosses from Puncheon, and they're attacking Janmaat (the marauder, but ****e defender), where Sissoko seems to have a mandate to fill-in.

We've defended well, limiting chances with a disciplined line, catching them offside a couple of times in promising scenaios. Frazier Campbell had a headed effort ruled out rightly, but their only other efforts have been straight at Krul from wide right after getting behind Janmaat (Zaha and hexagon arse).

Sissoko is walking a tight-line, having commited numerous niggly fouls. Perez too, with the ref determined to let things flow (but nothing is helping this game). Clumsy, nervy play from both teams.

 

Much better although it took me almost 10mins to download that - the internet coverage here isnt very good! Also you didnt mention the value of the coin that hit Coloccini. Hope it wasnt one of those nasty 50p ones.

 

Well stop scouring underdeveloped nations for young ladyboys to groom

 

That was not mentioned on the coverage, however I refuse to believe anything exists with more sides than Kelly's arse, so I can no longer accept 50p's as a plausible entity.

 

You are treading a fine line there mate - see earlier posts.