Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Liar or were you a good old fashioned lover boy?

 

True this, my mates mam & dad are getting divorced

She said i want the kitchen table

He said you didnt want the bed

Aye because you ****ed her in it

So you wont the table then

 

My girlfriends dad asked me "what I do"..?
Apparently,, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer

 

Not a very niece thing to say..

 

I was playing poker and my mate raised me his mother’s sister.....Trust him to up the auntie

 

did he run out of fine auntses ?

 

Sounds like the chips are down..

 

A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.

 

That put a

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on my face.

 

Sounds like a load of waffle to me like..

 

I went into the chinese resteraunt and asked are you foo king the cook and he said no i am wan king the chef.

 

John MaCain pun.

 

love chips me .... I have the face that lunched a thousand chips

 

My daughter brought her first boyfriend home so I collared him when she was out of the room.
When I said, "You lay a finger on her and I'll cut your ****ing face open," he started crying.

















Well, that's 7 year old's for you

 

Having children is a heir raising experience.

 

Boys should expect to be throne off every wall when they come round here

 

If they fell into a vat of blue ink would they be blue prince?

 

And then if they touched the door handle would they leave finger prince..

 

They might give it a whorl.

 

That would put the icing on the cake..