Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

I once got offered a job working for Noah, but I turned up an hour late on the first day and by then, that ship had sailed.

 

Even if these carpentry 'jokes' were funny, I wooden laugh

 

I was on that boat and Noah actually caught me shagging one of the lions.
When I pleaded my innocence he called me a lion ****er..

 

I did go out with a female carpenter once ......... she loved a bit of tongue & groove

 

I saw that one coming..

 

She gave me the slip once tbh, I chased her into her workshop but only saw dust.

 

I mitre porked her, as well actually.

 

You'd have been in a queue mate, she had tenon the go

 

Urgh

 

Oh good, I'm glad I didn't end up lumbered with her then.

 

Someone should report these 'jokes' to the vice squad

 

I applied for a job fitting kitchen doors, I got rejected because my fascia just didn't fit.

 

That was a rasper..

 

Carpentry-based puns, we're scraping the barrel now.

 

Funky should be along soon, he's an expert on joints.

 

That'll be spliffing

 

Nice one marra-wana

 

Weed on't like these jokes

 

There's just no resinin with some folk

 

Hash-tag #IHearYaBrother