Do you all understand NOW!!!

As long as you don't pay for the disgustingly overpriced shirts you're alright in my eyes.

 

You've hit a great chord there. How can football tops be getting thinner and thinner, cheaper to produce, have sponsors logos that peel off after a few washes(although it's bad they have some of the sponsors they have on the shirts in the first place), come out annually (sometimes more often... see our bi-annual release of a ****ing "membership" kit with a bit of glitter and some gold trim on it), and COST MORE EACH ****ING TIME?!?! I wonder just how far our thinly woven replica **** is from what the player's actually wear during a match!

The worst part is, the design basically gets worse and worse. We sporadically move around the black and white a little bit to much consternation, and when we hit on a decent away strip colour (that rare occasion), next year it's back to bloody turd coloured or two disgusting shades of outcast colours chosen from the extremities of microsoft paint's pallet and thrust together to look like scrotum-scum that's gone off... If nowt else it's proved a significant population among us have severe eyesight deficiencies...

Retro shirts will become expensive soon. Yuck.

 

They're a disgrace and people eat them up like it's nobody's business, the adidas shirt in the 08-09 season was the last decent shirt Newcastle have had in my opinion, thick with a nice design, damn good quality for money and cost less than the most recent. Puma have been making some terrible shirts, and the club love them because they're cheap to buy off the supplier and more than 50,000 people are confirmed to purchase them both home and abroad.

 

Aye, Nike and Adidas make quality shirts 99% of the time. When your club starts supporting bloody Puma, you know exactly what you're getting, which is tat ala Sportsdirect. The championship shirts were ok, as were the ones in the virgin money year, but they were still low quality material, and I'd have to go back a few years like you said to find one I actually liked wearing!

Don't know who has it worse, us or Liverpool... What exactly is Warrior? They comes up with some hilarious 2nd/3rd kits

 

So we have to shut up if we want to continue going and shut up if we have stopped. You are going to be the death of this forum you! We will only have the prediction games, fantasy league and headline game to keep us entertained and my performances of late suggest i have given up on those as well.
What amazes me is that a new buyer hasnt come in. As an investment we must be the best available in the Premier League. Cant see how we arent going to report a significantly increased profit for 2013-14, we have 30-40000 supposed sheep who would probably still come if we were playing in League 1 and we could probably start pushing the top 4 with a slightly increased investment in the playing side either through transfers or an improvement in our coaching team right through from the academy to the first team..
So why not a fan based buyout? You promise the first 25000 people who can stump up 10000quid a season ticket for eternity and there's your supposed 250million quid asking price straight away. Not sure whether ashley expects his dubious 120million loan back as well but if so you threaten him with a bill for 5years free advertising and negotiate.
Dont have the readies at the moment - who is our main club sponsor? Wonga would probably wack up the value of their sponsorship deal if they knew they were going to get some business out of it and we could collectively negotiate a much more reasonable interest rate (say 500% APR) so its win-win.
Then think of the fun we could have electing the management team:
Chief Executive: Boro Gully - seems to be good on the predictions so trust him with my money. Only downside is he will probably want to bring Pardew back.
Future Business Development (UK) - Mr Tiote. Always best not to have someone too optimistic in this role so we plan conservatively (probably for life in the Championship)
Media Communications - BRS. For once we wont need to be banning any newspapers. They will be banning us.
Website and Social Media- ACS. But no redhead themes or like brothels please.
Future Business Development (non-earth): Obi Wan.
Online Games Coordinators (new position) - JPF (for ideas only) then Trev and Less Hope to do the grunt work. Entry fees will be charged to raise money.
Rest of you will not have a salaried position unless you can identify a useful role but all investors will receive a dividend each year based on investment level (ranging from cash to free pies).
I am happy to look after the initial capital raising and will let you know where you can start sending the money shortly if there is significant interest.

 

Class Jakarta

 

Will The bank account be kept offshore?

 

Think that's a good idea. In an effort to reduce tax we will also have a Luxembourg or Irish Holding Company that will bill exorbitantly high management fees - if it works for Vodaphone, Google and Apple it can work for NUFC.
Have decided that Tash666 will be in charge of the playing side: on the understanding that after every game he addresses an owners forum where we give him our thoughts on the game and rate the players. If he doesn't agree with us he is out. Also we make it quite clear to him that our starting line-ups must be designed to get us points rather than resemble Fibonacci Series. And we force him to sell Williamson.

 

I love a good ****ing Beel.
Ashley is a fat, sloth like big hairy donkey's ball bag.
He licks the piss off the devil's stalk.

 

There you go - Deputy Communications Director

 

Shirt Design & Manufacturing: JPF and Wor Welshie: this will be an important and time-consuming job. We may be cash-tight immediately after the buyout so in order to raise money we will have a new shirt after each game. They will be expected to not only design each shirt but scour 3rd world countries for manufacturers who meet our high quality and safety standards and do not any employ child* labour (*child defined as anyone younger than 6) and can do this for a cost of no more than 30p per shirt (including shipment costs).

 

Come on lads and lasses (and hermaphrodites - see JPF I don't leave you out, PC to the end), let it all out. Let the tsunami of hatred consume you. Erupt like volcanoes and let the molten anger flow.

 

As a somewhat relevant factoid:

"Newcastle owner Mike Ashley has his detractors, but Deloitte's list shows the retail tycoon is not a billionaire for nothing. Although success in major competitions remains elusive, Newcastle's large stadium and strong commercial deals puts them in a respectable 19th place on the list.
An average attendance of 50,688 at St James' Park was the third highest in the Premier League last season, while Deloitte notes the club's commercial income increased by an "impressive" 50%, to £25.6m in 2013/14. "Newcastle United are commercially in the strongest position in their history," the report adds."

 

So it sounds like a good investment - can I count on your 10000quid then?

 

Well with the wealth of wisdom and experience the new board will have I can't see us less that quadrupling our money in the first financial quarter.

So no.

 

I will put you down as a maybe. You can use my eternal season ticket when I cant get to the games.

 

you have all gone off topic here!!! we know there is going to be no new manager or players in for the rest of the season... Stop going to the ****ing games!!!! Tell me... WHAT IS THE ****ING POINT IN SUPPORTING THIS CLUB AT THE MOMENT?? Cos I cant think of a rational reason why anyone would wate their time time turning up to watch this dross! Dont get me wrong, I have turned up to watch far worse teams in the past pull on the shirt, but we have never had a management structure so hated and ridiculed throughout our history before. Stop going to games, lets see what happens. I have stopped going, but I am only one seat.
Feel like i am wasting my breath. If you are prepared to sacrifice something to save your club,,,then stop ****ing moaning....

 

To be fair, I'd wager this is true of pretty much ALL the clubs in the league, what with the consistent rise in the amount each club gets paid for a start off for just being in the league. it's attracting money left right and centre. Guess what though, we've spent **** all on players. ****ety **** all.

19th place on which list anyway? Sounds about right for where our premier league place should be given the last 12 months!

 

I am willing to sacrifice my missus, if she hasn't made my tea for me getting home tonight after a 12 hour shift. Otherwise I could maybe sacrifice an apple. I'll slice that bastard into little pieces for you Warwick (can I eat it afterwards?).

 

The memory is a bit suspect at times, but I personally hated Westwood, Seymour, McKeag more than Ashley any day.

I cant say I hated Fat Freddie and the Halls, at least they tried, and ok, they almost bankrupted the club and took away millions with them, but it was a good ride while it lasted.

Thankfully, Mike is our salvation - hallelujah....