I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling mountains and skiing couloirs. I have been known to remodel submarines in my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate staff requirements for the PE, I write award-winning articles for Harpers Bazaar, I manage time efficiently. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike sincerity, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook a boiled egg in 3 minutes. I am an expert in Black Adder, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. I enjoy urban parachuting. I am the subject of numerous EHS inspections. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair oscillating fans free of charge. I never cheat at squash. I am a fearless canoeist. Under pressure, I rely on chirpy optimism, I never panic. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I smell of spring. I am an abstract creator, a generous tipper, and a ruthless gigolo. I once turned down an offer from London Zoo for my trouser snake, lounge lizard and tent rhino. Critics world-wide swoon over my original line of walking shorts. I can defecate and ski at the same time. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Last summer I toured Barbados with a traveling libido. My eyebrows have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic. I have exchanged groins, advised the UN, and won the Nobel Peace prize in 1994 for my amusing anecdote on uses of the unemployed. I holiday with the Aztecs. I once read Caesars Commentaries, The Lord of the Rings and the Koran in one day and still had time to complete an entire attic conversion that evening. I am a legendary Kart racer. I know the exact location of every food item in the kitchen. I have performed several covert operations for 14 Int. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I am the special person in my life. I am an unstable extrovert, a whisky connoisseur and the perfect son. While on holiday in Africa, I donated a kidney to save the life of a young Massai girl; then had sex with her. I have made extraordinary four course chicken meals using only a candle and a toaster. I breed prize-winning clematis in my roof garden. I have won the Cresta in St Moritz, tennis matches in Wimbledon, and friends worldwide. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, I have survived Shuttlecock, and I have spoken with Elvis. but i still dont deserve a final salary pension paid for by the tax payer.
18. in times of war i'd re-call all retired veterans and put then in the first wave. if its good enough for caesar....
Some of my mates who got out at the 12 year point got called up for Telic and just took a **** load of drugs before arriving at Chilwell and failed the piss test. No tour for them
there was a guy who got mobilised for telic at the same time as me who'd only been out 18 months he was ****ing raging but decided to go in the end because he was saving for a new car
popsiecola? Barking up a wrong tree there. I was MrT on 606 before coming here. I was a dick then as well.
I'd have been feelin' the beel big time if that had been me. There's loads of them on tour who get out, join the T.A and then volunteer for tour after tour. ****ing maniacs.
Apols ma man. Just that there used to be an infamous poster on here called Popesicola who was a solicitor who left under dodgy circumstances
my mates like that, he's going back out with the watch (just doing OPs room SNCO so he should be fine) think that'llbe his 11th or 10th tour. there's something broken inside him. he was trying to convince me to go back out on the way home last time
I mean it's not so bad if you're going to be in an Ops Room or just a REMF cutting about Bastion, but ffs, do you really want to be dodging rounds, IEDs and EFPs when you're in your 50s!
when another friend of mine was out with the royal irish (great battalion for a catholic celtic supporter) they had a 50 year old bloke from the royal irish TA who was still a pte ****. that. just remembered a bloke from my TA mob who went to kabul aged 50 (still a pte) and had a heart attack and keeled over in the sangar, the only reason he lived wa sbecause when he hit the deck the back plate of his body armour hit into him so hard it re-started his heart
Tap Kwality I guess some just can't give it up. I know that once I've had my dine out, that there's no going back.
i like going on tour but dodnt really like the army wouldnt go back because in the TA you basically lose a year out of your life and its not like its going to help career wise or anything plus now who i piss myself every time someone slams the fridge door
plus he was always good for a bit of legal abvice when you get caught inside the designated 400m do we have any legal beagles on here anymore?
