Brighton beach - like walking across a building site Auldearn Doocot: please log in to view this image
And Ponders End. Absolute f**ing hell-holes, and it's no secret why they are so s**t. Disney Land. Hours of queuing, thousands of pounds down the pan, and no end result other than a cuddle from Pluto. Adventure Island at Southend wins out in the value-for-money stakes.
Disney Land Tokyo was a major disappointment. Not been to the froggy one yet, but imagine it will be worse. If you agree on Edmonton Green/Ponders Plonk, you must love Wood Green High St Yacontcha!
Wood green has one of the best Nandos and being a fat **** I must have eaten at most of them in London. The worst was off Oxford st they charged a fiver for a green salad and served it in the sealed plastic box 1 tomato.
The Crooked house is good fun though. [video=youtube;WEQdAzjTcaE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEQdAzjTcaE[/video]
Wood Green is pretty good for shopping - just don't loiter near Turnpike Lane after dark, for you will certainly die! Blackgang Chine has been revitalised in the last couple of years. I was there in October for the Halloween week and the kids loved it, especially the late night opening when everything is lit up with lanterns. They have a couple of free rides (a rollercoaster and water slide) and the new dinosaur attraction is excellent.
The biggest pimple on the arsehole of the planet has to be Belize. It might have improved by now, but when I was there in '77 it was a mosquito blown, **** laden, blisteringly hot and humid hell hole that had absolutely nothing going for it. We were only there because Guatemala was threatening to invade and my ship was sent there to either deter them or fight them off if they decided to have a go. They didn't. So we stayed on station for as long as it took for everything to boil down and even had a few opportunities to get ashore. I wish I hadn't bothered. Belize City was an open sewer and the rest of the country was jungle. We played a rugby match against the army base. The pitch was made of sand and every time a player went to ground, some horrible form of insect appeared out of the sand and tried to eat any naked flesh it came into contact with. The locals thought this was hilarious. For my money, the Guatemalans could have Belize and they were bloody welcome to it. I'm glad it never came to a fight. I would have been totally pissed off to have to die to defend a **** hole like that. No wonder it was the last place in the Commonwealth the Queen ever visited.
Back in the day when I used to work for a living, I had the misfortune of delivering furniture to Cilla Black's house. Lovely place and all that, but the whiff of cats permeated the place.
When working for me step dad's skip hire/rubbish dump empire we collected a skip from Marty Wilde's gaff. Can anyone else regale us with tales of work-related visits to 1960s pop singers' houses. If there's enough interest maybe I should start a thread.
Not quite what you're looking for, but when I was an infant, my babysitter was in the same class as Lisa Stansfield.
