I got a Jehovahs Witness advent calendar this year. Opened the first door today. There was two of the twats standing behind it.
I had one at my door but I was busy so I asked him to come in and take a seat. When I had some time I made him a cuppa and asked what he wanted to talk about? He said 'I don't know, I've never got this far before.
What's the difference between a Jehovah's witness and an Ikea wardrobe? You can shut the door on a Jehovah's witness
My wife's family are JW crowd! As is one of my workmates. It's awesome winding them up about christmas and stuff. My daughter asked her grandad "grandad can you get me that doll off the telly for Christmas please?" Was awesome watching him squirm!!
The ****ing God bother's get right on my thruppenny bits tbh. I mean, ffs, I dinnet give a flying twat what any ****s religion is but I do start to object when they try & push it on me. ****ers.
Many years ago mother-in-law invited them into her home, made a pot of tea and got the biscuits out. Poured the tea and settled down and asked what they would like to talk about? Both lads looked at each other and said "we don't know, we haven't got this far before".
Never understood the religion. They believe there's 500 places in heaven. Why the **** would you follow a religion that pretty much guarantees you won't get into the paradise that they all crave. Madness.
FFS, so when nothing happens after they die they'll just think they've not been picked? I was hoping for a bit of peace and quiet in the afterlife, now I've just found out I'm gonna have to deal with these idiots.
Hahahahaha. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe in heaven. I just can't understand why you'd follow a religion that assures you don't get into heaven when surely that's all of their end goals?
Essentially they're just scouts, looking for people to fill the 500 squad spaces. Imagine being 501, almost there, half way up the aeroplane steps and they shut the door. Oh man.
Not quite right the "500" thing - more of there are 144000 places to rule with Christ (most of which are already taken) but there are other ways of getting to eternal paradise (Anyone play Tekken??): Those who died without faithfully serving God will receive the "resurrection of the ... unrighteous" ("unjust" KJV). They will be given an opportunity to gain God's favor and join Jesus' 'other sheep' and live forever in an earthly paradise.[23][24] Individuals unfavorably judged by God are not resurrected, and are said to be in Gehenna, which they consider to be a metaphor for eternal destruction.[25] Those of the 'other sheep' who are alive today, some of whom survive through Armageddon without needing a resurrection, are referred to as the 'great crowd'.[26][27]
considering there has been an estimate 108 Billion people that have lived on Earth that a lot of 'souls' -so heaven or hell? take your pick both are going to pretty crowded
....My 85 year old mother watched her similarly aged neighbour chase the lanky man in the smart dark suit down her garden path....she could tell he was on the end of a tongue lashing as she watched her neighbour clash the gate.........She waited for the knock Though she`d thought of ignoring the knock but decided to get rid of him by by giving him "the ganny`s torrent" not letting him get a word in. She opened the door straight away and said "Eeeeeeeeeeh what a lovely suit!!!!! ..........................Wait a minute....I know.... you..!" "Im David Milliband" he said...
Only the ones from the last 6,000 years count though, any born before that are purely 'heresay'. Exclude the Muslims, because they go into some parallel universe whereby girls outnumber boys 40/1 (although they're all taken), then exclude the Jews because let's face it, Jesus won't want to see them lot again. Suddenly, it starts to look good for the rest of us.
God never existed anyway. And even if he did he had a scruffy ginger twat for a son. And seeing as how Mary was a virgin, God should be done for rape. It's poor old Joseph I feel sorry for, never even got his leg ower. What a horrible **** God is.
