omg, I messaged that girl again and she hasn't replied, she's definitely ignoring me. And after I bought her a three course meal. Wtf do I do now? And don't say nothing because nothing achieves nothing.
You leave it alone and move forward and onward. If she replies in the meantime, you don't get over-excited and bombard her with millions of relief-soaked messages back. You also have a crank, get the book FLT recommended, and you read it.
That's the problems with messaging.,,never clear what is going on, though my guess is she isn't interested. Play it cool and do nothing...save your dignity. Speak pleasantly if you see her and leave it at that. Oh..and don't give explanations, apologies etc. Ignore what has happened...don't make it worse. If you make nothing of it by just being friendly, she will make nothing of it.
Face to face and phone calls is the only way....I rarely leave messages as it leaves you in the position of waiting, has she? hasn't she? angst.
Isn't there something more productive I can do? Also, seems a bit harsh to blank me after I paid for her three course meal.... And why is it that people are so unforgiving over little mistakes? Can't people just accept it and get over it? For example, in the last three or so years, my mistakes have been: 'told a girl I was interested in her (well she asked me)' - despite being close before hand, we never speak again (coincidentally she 'liked' one of my photos today, first contact with her in over a year) 'after meeting up with a girl online, stupidly asked if she wanted to kiss at the end' - immediately regretted that, we never spoke again 'went to a brony meet up with a girl, met like half an hour before hand to break the ice. Didn't realise it was a date although in her mind it was, read on the forum (that she and the others told me to join and gave me the address for) that it was a bit awkward on the date. I told her I'd seen her post, and before I have the chance to say anything else (all I was planning to say is that I didn't realize it was a date and saying sorry that she felt awkward), she deletes me and we never talk again. Go on a nice date with someone, have a three course meal then as we are about to leave, I lean over to kiss her, she declines and I immediately apologise. Apart from one brief convo the next day (where we agree to continue as friends...), I never speak to her again? None of which have been huge, a bit stupid perhaps but.... still. Why do people care so little about people nowadays that they're willing to discard them over the smallest of things? I bet people are more forgiving for other people. 2 hours ago. According to Facebook she's been online during that time....
You need to look at yourself first, to see the way you are around girls that seems to put them off you. Do you act too nervous? Do you make them feel uneasy? Do you message them too much? You need to either read up on how to come across or go for confidence boosting classes.
It seems to me that blooming social media has a lot to answer for...couple of words in cyber space (which cannot be altered once seen) is misunderstood and/or analysed to death by friends causes no end of trouble. The thing to remember that feeling mistreated (however real it is) will only hurt you if mulled over...it won't hurt her. People only have the power over you that you give them. Move on...don't be seen as a victim.
Thing is Pomps, there are plenty of girls out there in the world that I'd love to "get together with" that (amazingly) don't want to do same with me. There's even some that don't want to get together with Beefy. I know. Incredible. But the difference being, just leave those ones and move on. No worries. As Beef said, you need to look more at yourself and become happy in yourself and who and what you are, then the rest will come naturally. You're trying to force things here and that never, ever works. Being in a relationship shouldn't define you, shouldn't be an "end game" goal that you have. It won't actually necessarily be the secret ingredient that makes you happy. Go out and find that secret ingredient yourself, enjoy who you are, then if you have a relationship it won't be a co-dependent mess. It'll be real.
**** really? Being serious tho, everyone has been knocked back in their life. I don't see the point in moaning and over thinking it. Not like there is only one girl in the world.
I know...should never be used by youngsters with poor social skills. The suffering I've seen with girls trying to decipher what they see as coded language in messages from friends and lovers. See people face to face and avoid a lot of misunderstandings. People make life more complicated than it really is. Glad I'm out of this mating game...though have to say I'm having to avoid a man who fancies me at the moment. Perhaps Pomps could give me advice on how to discourage him.
I suspect Pomps goes for the shy, intelligent sort...probably wouldn't fancy the confident type that takes passes in her stride. Not a criticism...it just may explain his constant problems.
