[video]https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x27ss4r_un-coup-du-foulard-sur-la-barre_sport[/video] If you can get past the adverts at the start...There is a free kick that is worth watching..
The Moral of Auntie Sharon A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.' 'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher. 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!' 'Very good,' said the teacher. Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.' 'That was a fine story Sarah.' Michael, do you have a story to share?' 'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke, and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.' 'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?' 'Stay away from Aunty Sharon when she's pissed.'
Hedgehog tickling.............. please log in to view this image please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
due to the fact that the MODS are removing all the boobs & nudity (the new no nipple rule ) - so it's quite likely that there will be at least a quarter of the content of this thread which will now be defunct or rendered worthless- which would mean that we have another 1000 post to go before the bona fide 4000th post
this thread needs some highbrow culture - some Mozart I reckon [video=youtube;wUMHWrWwzS8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUMHWrWwzS8[/video]
ATTENTIVE EYE TEST The School of Psychology, Harvard University, recently conducted a public survey called, "What really do you see?â People were asked to focus their attention on a very simple picture, and then asked if they had noticed anything odd. Now, you have the chance to take part in this survey. Study the picture for one minute; then reveal what you see that is HORRENDOUS. Start now⦠please log in to view this image Question: What do you see that is HORRENDOUS? Scroll down for the answer⦠keep going Answer: There's a MOUSE on one of the doughnuts! Results of the Survey: 1. 100% of males failed this test. They were distracted by the bosom. 2. 100% of the females also failed this test. They were distracted by the wide choice of doughnuts.
Looking for a mouse was the last thing on my mind, i knew there was something up, but did i **** see that little twat.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/hannahjewell/the-most-pointless-things-of-all-time These made me laugh, particularly the last one, I watched it for about 5 minutes.
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!" The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs...... "YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' A nd the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, 'Please .... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
