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O/T What weapons do you have in your house?

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Oct 14, 2014.

  1. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    Good spot <ok>

    You'd expect him to have at least one axe in the house tbh.
     
    #121
  2. Brian Storm

    Brian Storm Well-Known Member

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    Anyone ever wired their front door handle to a car battery? Does it work? :D
     
    #122
  3. Nordic

    Nordic Well-Known Member

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    :laugh::laugh: Just had to put some in myself, and it would mightily piss me off if some twat tried to get up em in a pair of dirty snow shoes or summat.

    They'd **** themselves when they met the dog at the top, as well. Even more mess to contend with, the blighters.
     
    #123
  4. JustMeMan

    JustMeMan Well-Known Member

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    Won't hurt mara only 12 volt?
    You could wire up a electric lead from the nearest 240 volt socket to the door handle.
     
    #124
  5. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    .......... and incorporate a trapdoor into a shark tank <ok>
     
    #125
  6. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬ Forum Moderator

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    as long as they have frickin laser beams attached to their heads

    [video=youtube;Bh7bYNAHXxw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh7bYNAHXxw[/video]
     
    #126

  7. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    <laugh>

    I had an accident with Henry the vacuum when his cord got tangled in my van and I stupidly yanked on it.....the cord came flying out and the plug whacked me right on the eyebrow....bullseye...a little blood and a big bump.....<steam>
     
    #127
  8. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    Hey mate, this'll make you laugh, anyone who thinks it's bullshit can just ignore it.

    Last time I saw you I was telling you about the club I worked at.

    So, the head doorman, Dale, was a peculiar fella and he came in one night with a tazer he'd brought back from the USA.
    (Legal to buy over there he reckoned.) They'd just come out and we were all flocking around having a look at it.
    In the atmosphere of testosterone & stupidity some daft get decided we should draw straws and the loser would be 'stunned' <doh>

    There was around 16 of us stood in the foyer in a circle, before the doors opened, and no one wanted to appear chicken.
    Infantile, I agree, but that's just how things are in that particular world.
    Word got round the club and the bar staff, cleaners, roadies, etc even the Hell's Angels, who did the load outs, were flocking down to watch.
    Then the band, Cypress Hill, showed up and I knew, at that moment, there'd be no backing out.

    However it happened, things were quickly organised and we all wrote our names on a cloakroom ticket which were then put in a bucket.
    One of the band, Dog I think was his name, was asked to draw out the lucky winner ...... I was ****ing shaking mate.
    So the lad puts his hand in and, with great theatricality, reads out the name on the ticket, mine!

    FFS, I stood there while time stood still and, as if it was in the distance, I could hear everyone roaring with laughter.

    Somehow I snapped out of it, puffed my chest out and said, "Come on then, I can't ****ing wait."
    It all went quiet and Dale stepped up while I stood there with my hands behind my back.
    He narrowed his eyes, raised the Tazer gun and pulled the trigger ....... it lit up with flashing red lights and made a noise like a house alarm.
    I was so petrified I didn't know what the **** was going on until everyone fell on the floor laughing, it was a fake!!!

    The bastards had ****ing set me up, the band and everyone else was in on it!!!!

    There was uproar and everyone was shaking hands & backslapping, the ****ers played it over & over again on the CCTV for weeks.

    My biggest regret was not asking someone to make a copy, my lads would've pissed themselves watching me suffer.
     
    #128
  9. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    ^^^^^classic <laugh> what a bunch of ****s <laugh>
     
    #129
  10. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant..<laugh>
     
    #130
  11. password invalid

    password invalid Well-Known Member

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    settle down now ,as i pack and crimp my own i was curious if you had also done the same ,its not a case of you being a liar is it ,lets not talk about form and all that rubbish ,straight forward question thats all,how/where did you buy them without a shotgun certificate which is law ?
     
    #131
  12. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    My first thought is, what the **** has it got to do with you?

    My second is that you obviously live a very sheltered life, you can get hold of anything if you know the right people ....... I do.

    When I first went to live in France you could buy shotguns at the local supermarket, did you know that Stu?
     
    #132
  13. password invalid

    password invalid Well-Known Member

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    no i did not know that , if a sheltered life nowadays is what i lead i am pleased its sheltered ,very pleased indeed ,good luck .
     
    #133
  14. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    The relief was absolutely incredible mate ....... I went through every emotion you can possibly imagine.

    I have to say that was a great place to work, some of the lads were incredible people.
     
    #134
  15. DAPARKERSAFC

    DAPARKERSAFC Well-Known Member

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    A life size cut out of Jozy Altidore
     
    #135
  16. Disco down under

    Disco down under Well-Known Member

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    About as scary looking as a King Charles Cavalier.

    Unless it's shoe laces are untied and it's a bit wobbly.
     
    #136
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    i have a WOPD,
     
    #137
  18. MackemsRule

    MackemsRule Well-Known Member

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    Well you will be safe if a goalnet tries to burgle your house. <ok>
     
    #138
  19. its been fun thanks :)

    its been fun thanks :) ♬♬Badum-tish! ♬♬ Forum Moderator

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    #139
  20. Deleted #

    Deleted # Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>!
     
    #140

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