Quiet on here isn't it? Just for fun, a chance to imagine a different world, in the style of alternative histories like Robert Harris' Fatherland and Len Deighton's SS-GB, which imagine a world where one thing has changed - in those cases Hitler winning WW2 - with massive consequences. On October 1st 2012, coming off a creditable performance but a loss at Spurs and without a win yet this season, QPR are down 2-0 at half time to West Ham, a complete shambles. Adel Taarabt comes on at half time and Samba Diakite replaces JS Park on 55 minutes. A glorious goal from Taarabt sparkes a comeback, with Cisse chipping in with a couple before Adel rounds off a 4-2 victory. Diakite, lucky not to be sent off, has an excellent game, driving the team on. After the game Mark "Sparky" Hughes says "It's good to get that first win, and we've seen what Adel can do" Loftus Road becomes a fortress for the R's, and they stay up relatively comfortably, Cisse ending with 19 goals, Taarabt with 12 and a huge amount of praise for the strength and guile of the midfield of Faurlin, Diakite, Mbia and Granero. In the summer transfer window a £15m bid for Taarabt from Juventus is turned down and Joey Barton is granted a free transfer to Tranmere. Judicious strengthening with young, hungry players pays off for the next season where the R's finish 8th, having taken points off all of the teams above them during the season, and the ground is broken on the Warren Farm training complex. Mark Hughes is named manager of the season, Taarabt is Players' and football writers' player of the year. During the window in the summer of 2014, a bid of £40m for Taarabt from Real Madrid is turned down,( Taarabt saying "Why would I want to leave QPR, I can achieve everything I want here, I love the place") but they do get Diakite for £25m. He is sent off in the first 20 minutes of his next 3 matches, once for kicking Gareth Bale. 7 games into the season QPR have won 5 and drawn 2 (away at Spurs and Utd) games and sit second of the table. Chairman Amit Bhatia has just announced the acquisition of houses on Ellerslie Road and Loftus Road which will enable a rebuilt Loftus Road to be in place by 2017, and the Warren Farm training complex is fully operational. Well I enjoyed it. Other potential histories - Harry Redknapp succeeds Fabio Capello as England manager - Terry Venables declines offer from Barcelona and buys a stake in QPR - QPR fight back to beat Norwich at Carrow Road in 1976, win the title.
Nines has appointed me morale officer, and I take my responsibilities seriously. Now get back to digging that tunnel. There will be a gang show in the mess hall after roll call. Female impersonators in addition to Pte. Swords are needed, so if you fancy putting on a frock and dancing around, come along!
A lovely description of my dreams for QPR! You missed the bit where the club apologised for their bad judgement, and allowed anyone who wanted to to sit in the lower loft. A direct response to a barrage of emails from not606 contributors.
I tried to write one Stan, based around the summer of 2011 and us not having a bout of panic purchasing, but once I'd written about us destroying Chelsea in the cup final I thought that I'd better contact a psychiatrist. Weaker men would have crumbled when describing Tommy Smith's call up to the England squad!
That's the knack with alternative history, a daft but entertaining genre, picking the one thing to change and run from there, trying to keep the fantasy in check, which is where I failed. I do think that West Ham game was a turning point though, thats when the crowd lost it with Hughes, and it wouldn't have been totally beyond the bounds of reason for us to turn it round second half, especially if that idiot Diakite hadn't been sent of, and if one or two of the eight time wasting West Ham players who were booked were expelled. What if Jimmy Greaves hadn't been injured in the 66 world cup? What if Waddle and Pearce had scored their penalties? (easy one, the Germans would just have won a longer penalty shoot out....)
