I'm happy to accept penises, Gay Alan. The plural form with an I is derived from Latin and is only applicable when the word ends in -US, and has no relevance whatsoever when the word ends in -IS. In short, the word 'penii' has no etymological foundation.
Ponders is the Variety club bus coming for you today? 6 months in the house with cushioned walls with no tv internet phone laces or a belt.