Paddy decides to take up boxing and goes for the required medical. A few days later the doctor ‘phones and says “Paddy, you realise you’ve got sugar diabetes.” Paddy says, “Nice one, when do I fight him?”
I never knew this.... Did you know 'listen' and 'silent' use the same letters? Do you also know that the words 'race car' spelled backwards still spells 'race car'? And that 'eat' is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense 'ate'? And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in 'illegal immigrants' and add just a few more letters, it spells: 'Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking arseholes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-shagging, raggedy-ass idiots with you.' How weird is that? English really is a strange language, isn't it!!!!!! *
An old cowboy walks into a barbershop in Moose Jaw, Wyoming for a shave and a haircut. He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old cowboy to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he's finished, the old cowboy tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in years, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”
THE AUSTRALIAN VIRGIN A very nice, innocent woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. She is very happy with him, and she feels that they are perfect for each other.. So, they end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked. All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks. "I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get!"
