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Room 101

Discussion in 'Manchester United' started by Sweats, Jan 12, 2013.

  1. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    Get yourself a bidet. Or a Karcher pressure washer.
     
    #1161
  2. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    We've got a toilet seat bidet. attaches to your toilet under the toilet seat- takes 10 mins to install (cost about $30 on sale) - thing is bloody amazing- although first few times I used it it made me jump 20ft into the air.

    I now have a bum crack that sparkles! <ok>
     
    #1162
  3. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    And a colon that's as irrigated as the Nile delta <ok>
     
    #1163
  4. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    I grow great wheat in my bum crack- with a little yeast from the Mrs' fanny it makes the worlds best bread!
     
    #1164
  5. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    Not gonna ask how her fanny yeast gets in your bum crack <yikes>
     
    #1165
  6. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    < walks in walks back out again > .

    <yikes>
     
    #1166
  7. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    The butt farmers harvest the yeast using combine harvesters... and then things start to get weird.
     
    #1167
  8. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    I think I have opened the wrong thread <laugh>
     
    #1168
  9. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Moving house.

    Literally sucks arse. I've been at it all day. Got two more days to empty the place.

    The light at the end of tunnel is buying a new motor.
     
    #1169
  10. CCC

    CCC Poet Laureate

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    Does it suck Milk's wheaty arse or does it suck regular arse? <laugh>
     
    #1170

  11. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    If it literally sucks arse, sounds like you've moved house into Cell Block D.
     
    #1171
  12. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    God's punishment on you for being an estate agent <ok>

    I moved last Wednesday and it only took me a day. Tho' admittedly I did only move 200 yards up the road and round the corner...
     
    #1172
  13. Hoddle Is A Gob

    Hoddle Is A Gob Active Member

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    I did that on my last move literally crossed over the road and down 2 houses, no point packing just carried everything across.
     
    #1173
  14. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    &#9835;Anal-vice, Anal-Vice
    Every morning you greet me
    Small and white, clean and bright
    You look happy to meet me
    Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow
    Bloom and grow forever
    Anal-Vice, Anal-Vice
    Bless my anus forever
    &#9835;
     
    #1174
  15. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    I've moved 50 yards down the road. With no help and having not done any packing.
     
    #1175
  16. Someones got to say they moved next door soon (my mrs' grandad moved next door but that was well before we met)
     
    #1176
  17. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    I move in my own house fairly frequently. Every few months my wife gets the idea that the rooms in the house all need to be rearranged- and the office becomes a badroom- the bedroom becomes the ballroom- the ballroom becomes the library- and then Colonel Mustard kills someone with a lead pipe in the kitchen.

    It's annoying- I don't know why women feel the need to juggle the whole house around every few months. Just pick a plan and stick with it- I don't want to carry the bloody 400lb armoire up or down the stairs ever again!
     
    #1177
  18. Swarbs

    Swarbs Well-Known Member
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    How the **** has it taken you three days then? Borrow van off mate, throw all **** in / on it and Bob's your uncle. Worked for me!
     
    #1178
  19. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Two days it's taken me. Using a stacker truck. Also it's made all the more difficult as I am moving in with the mrs trying to fit two houses worth of stuff into one. I've spent more time at the tip than anything else.
     
    #1179
  20. UnitedinRed

    UnitedinRed Well-Known Member

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    Thats me. Moved on sunday next door.
     
    #1180

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