Alan Pardew- Random Excuse Generator

This is class lads...... Hahahahahhahahaah.

http://www.alanpardewsrandomexcusegenerator.com

 

I can click refresh all night and still laugh.

 

Just came on the forum tonight to post it - genuinely lollers.

 

I've done it at least 20 times already.

 

Heres a good one..

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It was
the grass that was too green
the floodlights that were too bright
the Great North Run
Jim White on Sky Sports News
the Transfer Window
the later start time of Great British Bake Off last night
the International Break
the fans cheering us on too loudly
the roadworks on the A1
the colour of the referee's shirt
the unrest in Syria
Miley Cyrus riding a wrecking-ball
Restaurant Week last week
the Scottish Referendum
the same ineffective corner to Williamson at the back every time
the return of The X Factor
the Notting Hill Carnival
the Sports Direct Closing Down Sale
the rising price of petrol
the release of the iPhone 6
Justin Bieber's hair do
our exuberance at the end
the Financial Fair Play rules
what the player's agents have been saying
the African Cup Of Nations
the Olympics
the Europa League
Kirsty Gallagher's low cut dress
that article in the newspaper last week
Jimmy Nail
Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway
the introduction of Goal Line Technology
the new vanishing spray
Steven Taylor's stamp collection
Arsenal's badly timed transfer bid
the grass that was too green
the grass that was too green
the floodlights that were too bright
the Great North Run
Jim White on Sky Sports News
the Transfer Window
the later start time of Great British Bake Off last night
the International Break
the fans cheering us on too loudly
the roadworks on the A1
the colour of the referee's shirt
the unrest in Syria
Miley Cyrus riding a wrecking-ball
Restaurant Week last week
the Scottish Referendum
the same ineffective corner to Williamson at the back every time
the return of The X Factor
the Notting Hill Carnival
the Sports Direct Closing Down Sale
the rising price of petrol
the release of the iPhone 6
Justin Bieber's hair do
our exuberance at the end
the Financial Fair Play rules
what the player's agents have been saying
the African Cup Of Nations
the Olympics
the Europa League
Kirsty Gallagher's low cut dress
that article in the newspaper last week
Jimmy Nail
Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway
the introduction of Goal Line Technology
the new vanishing spray
Steven Taylor's stamp collection
Arsenal's badly timed transfer bid
the grass that was too green
the grass that was too green
the floodlights that were too bright
the Great North Run
Jim White on Sky Sports News
the Transfer Window
the later start time of Great British Bake Off last night
the International Break
the fans cheering us on too loudly
the roadworks on the A1
the colour of the referee's shirt
the unrest in Syria
Miley Cyrus riding a wrecking-ball
Restaurant Week last week
the Scottish Referendum
the same ineffective corner to Williamson at the back every time
the return of The X Factor
the Notting Hill Carnival
the Sports Direct Closing Down Sale
the rising price of petrol
the release of the iPhone 6
Justin Bieber's hair do
our exuberance at the end
the Financial Fair Play rules
what the player's agents have been saying
the African Cup Of Nations
the Olympics
the Europa League
Kirsty Gallagher's low cut dress
that article in the newspaper last week
Jimmy Nail
Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway
the introduction of Goal Line Technology
the new vanishing spray
Steven Taylor's stamp collection
Arsenal's badly timed transfer bid
the grass that was too green


that
distracted us from winning the ball at corners
meant we lost our shape
meant we couldnt do what we practiced in training all week
meant we couldn't get one over the line
caused the players to lose their concentration
caused a hostile environment
started the game off on the wrong foot
meant we couldn't play our strongest team
had the groundsmen working late last night
meant we had a few injuries
meant there was a lack of electricity about the game
meant we had a day's less rest
means our squad isn't big enough
caused a language barrier between the players
meant they had an energy level above us
caused Cisse to stray offside
meant we was a bit flat
meant our crosses were a bit deeper than we'd have liked
meant we weren't at the races
errrrrrrrrrr
distracted us from winning the ball at corners
distracted us from winning the ball at corners
meant we lost our shape
meant we couldnt do what we practiced in training all week
meant we couldn't get one over the line
caused the players to lose their concentration
caused a hostile environment
started the game off on the wrong foot
meant we couldn't play our strongest team
had the groundsmen working late last night
meant we had a few injuries
meant there was a lack of electricity about the game
meant we had a day's less rest
means our squad isn't big enough
caused a language barrier between the players
meant they had an energy level above us
caused Cisse to stray offside
meant we was a bit flat
meant our crosses were a bit deeper than we'd have liked
meant we weren't at the races
errrrrrrrrrr
distracted us from winning the ball at corners
distracted us from winning the ball at corners
meant we lost our shape
meant we couldnt do what we practiced in training all week
meant we couldn't get one over the line
caused the players to lose their concentration
caused a hostile environment
started the game off on the wrong foot
meant we couldn't play our strongest team
had the groundsmen working late last night
meant we had a few injuries
meant there was a lack of electricity about the game
meant we had a day's less rest
means our squad isn't big enough
caused a language barrier between the players
meant they had an energy level above us
caused Cisse to stray offside
meant we was a bit flat
meant our crosses were a bit deeper than we'd have liked
meant we weren't at the races
errrrrrrrrrr
distracted us from winning the ball at corners


so
we couldnt get up field quick enough
we'll have to make do with listening to Adrian Chiles
we lost
there's not much I can do about that
it's out of my hands
it's up to the players now
we lost our momentum
we couldnt make any of the signings we wanted to
we couldn't get that vital first goal
it's hard to recover from that
we gave it our best
that's all I can ask
we'll have to regroup and try again next week
we can just concentrate on another competition now
the Chronicle are banned
the Journal are banned
the fans need to recognise that
I headbutted David Meyler
I pushed over that linesman
they were very fortunate
it's not something I can comment on
we couldnt get up field quick enough
we couldnt get up field quick enough
we'll have to make do with listening to Adrian Chiles
we lost
there's not much I can do about that
it's out of my hands
it's up to the players now
we lost our momentum
we couldnt make any of the signings we wanted to
we couldn't get that vital first goal
it's hard to recover from that
we gave it our best
that's all I can ask
we'll have to regroup and try again next week
we can just concentrate on another competition now
the Chronicle are banned
the Journal are banned
the fans need to recognise that
I headbutted David Meyler
I pushed over that linesman
they were very fortunate
it's not something I can comment on
we couldnt get up field quick enough
we couldnt get up field quick enough
we'll have to make do with listening to Adrian Chiles
we lost
there's not much I can do about that
it's out of my hands
it's up to the players now
we lost our momentum
we couldnt make any of the signings we wanted to
we couldn't get that vital first goal
it's hard to recover from that
we gave it our best
that's all I can ask
we'll have to regroup and try again next week
we can just concentrate on another competition now
the Chronicle are banned
the Journal are banned
the fans need to recognise that
I headbutted David Meyler
I pushed over that linesman
they were very fortunate
it's not something I can comment on
we couldnt get up field quick enough

 

^^^ I thought I was only copying the combination I did, but it seems to have pulled out all the options stored on their site.

 

Hahahaha. This is addictive!

 

One of my fave's:

It was the new vanishing spray
That meant we couldn't get over the line
So I headbutted David Meyler

 

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