By LORRAINE CANDY FOR THE DAILY MAIL PUBLISHED: 22:39, 17 September 2014 | UPDATED: 23:26, 17 September 2014 My son and his dad are having a rare one-to-one chat. 'What exactly does QPR stand for then?' asks Henry, aged seven. I want to shout 'Quite Possibly Relegated', but that would be cruel; this is a significant moment in my little one's life. A tricky rite of passage is happening before my eyes and I have a feeling it's all about to go horribly wrong. My husband pauses impatiently and sighs: 'I've told you that many times before,' he says. 'It stands for Queens Park Rangers.' 'And why exactly do I have to support them again?' asks Henry, who is doing his best to avoid this conversation. He's wriggling from foot to foot nervously and pretending he has no idea what it's about when, in reality, he knows all too well. He does the same thing when I ask him if he has cleaned his teeth. Henry's worried brain is computing a variety of different answers, none of which look good for Dad. Meanwhile, his father mistakenly believes their conversation is potentially life changing. 'QPR are the family team. We've always supported them,' he says with gravity. This is not strictly accurate: neither I nor our three girls have been interested in football since David Beckham stopped playing but Mr Candy takes football extremely seriously. In fact, he will often quote Bill Shankly on the matter: 'Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.' But now there is a problem - because I can see Henry doesn't want to support QPR. He just doesn't know how to tell his dad that. I want to come to my son's rescue, but I'm caught in the middle of a tug-of-war of emotions. Who do I support here? This debate started as we tried to think of a way to help Henry fit in at his new school; he's shy and the first couple of weeks have been a challenge. Mr Candy's eyes lit up as he suggested Henry support a football team so he could join in with playground banter and kickabouts. 'I'll sign him up with us,' he said enthusiastically. 'He can be a Super Hoop.' Henry looked nervous, he didn't want to be a Hoop. If he supported a team, he didn't want to support one that was about to be pummelled 4-0 by Manchester United and had comedian Bill Bailey as its most famous supporter. He couldnât make life easier for himself at the school gates supporting a team whose blue-and-white strip was once famously worn by Andrew Ridgeley in a Wham! video. But how do you tell a life-long QPR fan that? Especially if he is your dad? I could see my husband going misty-eyed over the possibility of Saturday afternoons at Loftus Road with his son, future memories playing in his mind like a cosy Bisto advert. He was already thinking of getting Henry the hat and gloves. And I could also see that Henry was about to say possibly the one thing worse than saying he didn't want to support QPR. 'What if I support Arsenal?' he asked. We've got a house full of children, dogs, hamsters and visiting toddlers; why on earth did no one create a distraction? How come the first blanket of silence for a decade dominated this specific moment? I'm interrupted during almost every conversation at home. Usually the three-year-old diffuses any chance of adult chat by saying or doing something impossible to ignore. 'Don't eat that conker,' she yelled yesterday as I tried to hear what the man at the BT call centre was telling me. 'It's spurious.' But now, nothing. We had to stand in nervous silence awaiting a response. And possibly a maternal intervention. 'He doesn't want to feel left out or get made fun of,' I reason out loud and, hopefully, impartially. Mr Candy sighs. 'But QPR is my team,' he says, before bombarding us with boring statistics, tales of their 'comeback kid' history and their glory days (OK, I made that last bit up). Maybe, I suggest, Henry can stay up late and watch Match Of The Day with you, whoever he supports, but for the purpose of school, perhaps it's best he goes with Arsenal. Mr Candy shrugs agreement. Mabel, aged three, decides to interject. She wants to stay up late, too. 'You can't,' I say. 'You're too small.' 'But I want to be a Hoop,' she says. 'And I have got powers. They could be helpful.' Lorraine Candy is editor in chief of Elle magazine Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...-Can-I-support-Arsenal-dad.html#ixzz3DcI9wXao Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
My apologies for posting this piece of crap. I did so to highlight all that's wrong with the game today. Sky Sports is who I blame for this. They and their coverage of the game only represents the glamour clubs. A middle class mother who has stopped taking an interest in football 'since Beckham stopped playing' is sticking her oar in to repel her son from following the R's for the sake of being embarrassed at school, despite having 'f' all knowledge of the game. How did this start happening?
I was at this crossroads a few years back when my son was of a similar age, just as he started getting into football. QPR were struggling in Championship, flying through managers under Tango n Cash and he wanted a team to support that he could watch on TV - I'd been taking him to see local team, Greenock Morton who also play in hoops for a couple of years, but he yearned for a Premier League team. His friends at school were all either Rangers or Celtic, but still followed Man U, Scum, Arsenal - what was I going to do? In stepped "Santa", who must have ignored his requests for an Arsenal kit, and delivered QPR kit complete with name on back, QPR pyjamas, blanket, scarf hat, the full works - he was delighted but a little confused as to how Santa had ignored his letter and delivered stuff from his dads favourite team. I explained that Santa knows what team you're going to support before you do, which he believed! As fate would have it, Tango and Cash got pushed to one side by Amit, in came Colin and results started to turn for the better. The season after was our promotion season, where we played the best football we've played for several seasons and he was hooked, and is now fully committed to the QPR cause (poor boy!). He's still the only QPR fan in the school, but stands up for his beliefs against all of his pals and wears his kits with pride (although I've refused to buy him one of this seasons offerings!).
That's a great story Steelmonkey, I like you ingenuity. For me personally I grew up in a time when there wasn't blanket TV coverage, so going to our games from an early age instilled an inner passion in me. My two little girls first game was the home win v Chelsea on the glorious 23/10/11. I can still remember one of them looking at me after we won and saying '' My whole body is tingling dad.'' This is the reason why we need to keep Loftus Road rockin. You never know if it's a youngsters first game. They need to get the bug asap and have the character to stand up to the glory hunters in the school playground.
Sorry mate, but thats just family life with young kids now-a-days. Nothing unusual about it at all. Got loads of kids over here that follow (of sorts) ManUre, Chelski, Real, Barca, Liverpool, man Citeh. Cetainly not right but nothing we can do about it or compete with. Im just happy both my a QPR TBH, If you or I were kids today, we wouldnt even give Rangers a second look unless one of our parents etc had brainwashed us with it !
It's difficult to fathom how we would fare today. More importantly, how did you get your kids to remain as R's fans given the blanket coverage of the clubs you mentioned above. Especially as they are based so far from their spiritual home? I'm still amazed that we have retained so many young fans who have only witnessed the late nineties and early noughties in which to imbed their early foundations. Dark times indeed, but they have stuck with the cause. I feel that it's instances like this that I had pursued a psychology degree instead of being a fireman. Perhaps I have answered my own question there. I have always been a person of principal and loyalty. It's inherent. I think that's why some have the capacity to change without a sense of empathy and jump on the latest bandwagon. My brother in law does this often. He has supported Fulham, Leeds, Forest, Chelsea, Utd, Chelsea and back to Fulham and will probably swap allegiances again soon. But while doing this he feels that he still retains the higher moral ground. I find it all a bit strange.
All great stories here and many thanks for posting them. Queens, in relation to brainwashing your children to support your / the family team? Let me say that I personally believe that we as rightful, law-biding citizens & parents , it is our duty to ensure our children follow the team we support. If its not in their blood from day one, there having a transfusion asap! If the good lady or man ( not that there's anything wrong with that ) of the house supports another team, it is your right to demand a trial separation .............. on your terms of course! Confessional can also be a wonderful learning thingy-me-jiggy. Try getting them to say 'Hail Mary, Blessed Art Thou Queens Park Rangers' 100 times and your halfway there. Finally, ask your local Reverend to bless the new recruits' scarf, beanie or shirt and conversion is complete. They will be Blue & White till thy end.
Living out in "the sticks", my two lads were Liverpool and Man Utd "fans" when they were very young. They were completely influenced by their peers at school who nearly all "supported" big clubs who they never went to watch. TV obviously played a huge role too. It all changed when they both had their first game at Loftus Road. Once they had felt that atmosphere and sense of belonging, they were hooked!
This in an interesting discussion as too many kids support 'winning' as oppose to a team. I'm only 21 and when I began to suppor Leicester I had missed the O'Neil days and we had just got relegated and gone into administration. The reason for supporting Leicester was my dad taking me to one game and me being hooked. Nothing can beat watching your team live week in week out (this can be difficult for people logistically) but I think if it gets into a discussion with the kid as to who to support they'll say the big names. Take them to watch a club like QPR or Leicester live before they've had chance to think about it and they'll be hooked as I was
Well done, mate ...................... good to see you support your team regardless of how good or bad they are.
JohntheFox has so got it right....I respect any person who supports any team for those reasons (there are even a few scummers...who do...not many grant you, and usually older) I got taken by my Dad who just loved Sport, being Welsh mainly rugby. I was hooked directly I was in the little ground, directly I saw the kit, the wonderful hoops (that no-one else had) , directly I saw Rodnee and the Morgan twins (we had twins playing in OUR team)....how romantic. To say I was hooked is an understatement....I had gone hook line and sinker...they were MY team. I took my eldest daughter, it never happened for her....but the youngest saw the Wigan (1-1) match in 2012 which was the full QPR Football Course 101, the full experience...and is completely now hooked too. So, what is missing from the article it seems is the author never says her hubbie takes the boys to the match...that is the key
My lad was a Gooner, thanks to the influence of one of my mates and his lads, until he was 9 or 10. Then just switched to the R's (this was 8, 9 years ago, we were ****), I think for the novelty value in Warwickshire. His reward? A season ticket in the prem where we won the total of 2 home games in a season. I find the use of words like 'loyalty', 'principle' and 'moral' in relation to football hilarious. Just think about the people who run and play the game. In fact I find any virtue (loyalty, faith, hope) that you can easily put the word 'blind' in front of a little overrated. I don't know what basic human need I am fulfilling having spent 42 years following QPR, but I'm pretty sure its a perverse one. I know this sick loyalty hasn't made me a better person - I've spent a lot of money which could have been put to much better uses, and been irritable and moody for a lot of that time. A few pints and hearing and telling stories and shared memories is the best bit by a mile.
Totally agree as a father also I have one who is totally put off by football and the product he hates football but just one trip to LR and even he now says he likes the Rs he doesn't play and is surf culture through and through Youngest two were both Chelsea fans because of peer pressure at schoo and the step father who is a football manager of a successful Sussex boys team ... I never pushed it but got them in the end to LR both are now converted naturally BUT ... One has joined me in France for a week yesterday and caught the united game .... He himself still has not calmed down about the result and last night told me he walked out after the 4th goal from the pub He was laughed at by the entire pub for being QPR by the brainwashed mob who represent exactly that generation who IMO are zombie sheep Of course I am more concerned about is happening to life long QPR supporters as I have harped on about this for over three years on here The promise of money and fame has made us daft IMO and my anger etc comes from still being remembered as the QPR underdog who played with class and flair ( exactly why I don't like Harold... He is just to blame for getting his mug and ego onto the box I would love to get QPR soul people back at our club and go under the radar once again but it's doubtful we stink as much as the rest if them at the moment and everyone wants us to fail . I don't want so called clever ex Spurs legends in their own lunchboxes I want QPR family I want Holloway Francis and Clive Allen or Bardsley and his boy to run QPR with Les doing the kids Not much to ask is it?
Because we live so far away I didn't have the option of taking him to Loftus Road, and still haven't had that opportunity (I've only been back to London once in last 15 years), so had to concoct a plan to steer him away from the glamour teams, whilst instilling a sense of loyalty in him to a team that, in all honesty, isn't going to achieve much success. To his credit, he is now as passionate about the team as you can expect an 11 year old to be, and hopefully I can repay this with a trip to London for him so he can see them in the flesh in the near future!
It's interesting to see how sneaky Dad's can become when it comes to getting a child to support your team. My Dad grew up in Ruislip and is an R's fan through and through but moved to Colchester in the 70's. When it came to me wanting my first taste of live football he opted for the easier journey up the A12 to take me to an Ipswich Town game (Ipswich vs Oxford if my memory serves me right). I enjoyed it but nothing really click - maybe I could sense my Dad's heart wasn't in it. Next thing I know he's arranged to meet up with an old friend and got us tickets in the Loft to see QPR - think it was a fairly dull 1-1 against Derby with Rangers saved by a Roy Wegearle penalty that I didn't even see go in - but some how I was hooked. Seeing my Dad's enthusiasm for the club and the game got through to me. It helped that it was the end of the season and Dad got me a cheap QPR shirt for me to wear during PE at school! I've my first kid on the way and I hope that with careful persuasion I can raise them to be a Hoop...I'm not sure why I would want that, but it's got to be better than joining the ranks of glory hunters. I grew up around Liverpool supporting Essex boys and for all their teasing about how crap QPR were I always had the simplest of comebacks "When did you last go to see them play?"...worked every time. Thanks Dad!
Badger, you just answered the question of why most sons and daughter follow the team of the parents. Well done!
I have had the same issues with my son. During the school summer holidays last year he went back to school for sports/football days and it transpired that the organisers were somehow affiliated to Spurs. Guess what ? My then 6 year old became a Tottenham fan. The result of a few free stickers as far as I can make out. Of course, I have set about showing him the error of his ways and had tried to get him interested in the hoops prior to that fateful summer. Sadly, my beloved R's have done little to help my cause, I took my son to his first game, QPR v Stoke two years or so ago, my lad asked me why Ben Haim threw a ball out (Haim was taking a throw in down the line and managed to miss the pitch!). We were woeful and did well to lose that game by just 2-0. I had hoped that the recent Spurs match would prove to be my salvation and provide firm evidence to my lad that he was deluded and should follow the R's. It is fair to say that the game didn't quite pan out as I had hoped. Can you begin to appreciate the pain of watching an eight year old gloat? Love him though I do, it was all I could do to contain myself from launching the little sh1t's PS Vita into the toilet. Joking apart, for my lad, I think supporting another team is akin to being a punk or goth, it is his rebellion and something he is able to have an element of control upon. Whilst I am saddened that we cannot enjoy the R's together, I am proud that my boy wants to make his own way and choose his own team. To that end, I will support his decision and swallow the cramp inducing pangs of discomfort when coughing up £80 for a Tottenham shirt. There is one minor comfort, thank f@ck it wasn't Chelsea.
My dad was an Arsenal season ticket holder and I announced at the age of 7 I wanted to support QPR. He respected my decision and took me to Loftus Road from the late 70's on. I still went to Arsenal with him at times which was great from a neutral point of view. We had years and years of great conversations about football. My son is now a very proud QPR fan and we go together, I don't think if he announced he supported Chelsea or Man City I could be as accommodating as my father was!
For someone that normally likes to blend into crowds, I found supporting a different team at school to be a chance to claim a unique identity. A bit difficult at times but also more rewarding. The main reason we'd struggle at the moment is due to the fact that we obsess about the objective (staying up this season, progressing the next) rather than the fingerprint that gets indelibly left by team on both the fans and a wider audience. Swansea have a philosophy, they stick to that and they probably spend more time and effort getting the people in charge (or brought through) that can realise this, than they do the players (if you coach it from grass roots then there's no need to always spend on transfers). Although distance from England (and Wales given the above example), where the immersion in the full spectrum of football is slightly easier, will play a big role, there are opportunities to win new fans - even if the traditional big four are beamed around the world, they will often play the smaller teams - that is the chance to win new followers. I can bet that Swansea have won new fans with their performances, even Burnley and Leicester with their spirited displays against the big boys. Us.....? We need a clear identity and I can't imagine that has to be universal - we can't blame TF, PB, HR etc for not doing things the right way when we still have some inner turmoil - do we want to become a bigger team or retain our close-knittedness? I know the views on this are mixed. We want better football but we almost want to keep it to ourselves - that's an unquestionable conflict - decent football breeds additional support and I think there are many on here who were captivated at previous peaks in Rs performance and achievement throughout the years - who's to deny the next generation if we get the football right, perhaps some success but definitely an identity that we can ingrain into the club and, hopefully, reap the rewards for years to come. TF seems to listen to the fans but I couldn't blame him for not acting decisively if he gets a mixed message of big time ambition and historic nostalgia given to him simultaneously.
It seems that the common thread running through this is that if we can get kids to Loftus Rd, the KP, griffin Park etc, they will in general become devoted supporters.At an early age i flirted with Liverpool and could have easily become a gooner had my dad not been the driver that used to take the team (QPR) to their early games. Free match tickets and a few visits to HQ and i was hooked. It was the atmosphere, the closeness and the occasional win did help. Seeing our club play West Ham, Utd etc, the size of QPR as a club had no relevance what-so-ever to me. I just loved being there. Ive sat in the paddock SA road, lower Loft & finally the Upper loft. The problems comes in trying to entice young kids to LR now. In terms of team, results, Players, Stadium & facilities we are so far behind everyone else in the prem that its almost embarrassing. If you were an 8 year old at school just getting into football, family influence aside, what on earth would make you (want to)go to Loftus road? especially as 1 train could get you to Chelsea, Arsenal, or Spuds. TBH i cant think of much. Maybe a nice shiny big stadium might be a start. (Take note Mendes) With regards to my boys being QPR, they both had Rangers kits before they could play football and were taught to take the mick out of "Uncle Barry' because he supported Chelsea. As 4yr old's they used to boo at him (my brother) when he visited my house ..... Anyway they are set now and as Matt, they enjoy being the only kids in their schools and the parks that have QPR tops in amongst the Barca and Man Utd. I agree with Stan, the words loyalty, principle and morality are consigned to the bin as outdated ideas alongside marriage and respect for many today. Especially when talking about football or soccer
