If they really want people to share the joy of the family they should commission a poll to find a name for the new baby. I think Princess bucket fanny has a nice ring to it.
I am far too fond of my fellow humans to inflict my offspring on them - plus there's more chance of Watford winning the Champions league than a woman being silly enough to let me have sex with her without money changing hands. However, if that ever changes I'll PM you for suggestions.