First laugh of the morning about an hour ago, but struggled with connection as I tapped out a reply. (Great way to start the day!). Jude Dude: The first few posts had me thinking this was a one-man comedy show. However, if you ever consider yourself as part of a double-act, look no further than Bando. – Most amusing thread of the year without a doubt; but it also contains the single funniest contribution I think I've ever seen in a forum! (Will be showing it around during the day). Thanks.
Hi, I'm JPF, and I've been a recovering Hamelot since 2008... But recently I've lapsed (owing to the fact he decided he was going to start trying again). How to identify if you have Hamelotism; 1. You think the weekend (never mind the race, the points doled out, or anything to do with F1) should be cancelled if he doesn't win the race. What's the point in a Sunday Roast when it tastes like mechanical or electronic failure, or some sweaty Mercedes mechanic's finger. 2. You scream Lewis Hamilton's name out whilst having coitus with someone not named "Lewis Hamilton". In Hamelot orgies, the female role-player might shout "who's your daddy?", in which case the correct response is "Anthony Hamilton". Same goes for sex with non-Hamelots. 3. You wear shades and a cap, even in winter. 4. When a race isn't on, you sit in a darkened room, cutting out letters from Newspaper articles and cutting the heads off barbie dolls to make ransom notes, whilst playing "Don't Cha" and "Stickwitu" on repeat. 5. On F1 2013, you do not just go as Lewis Hamilton on career mode, you turn your car around during the race, going the wrong way down the track at 200 miles an hour, and smash into the virtual representation of Vettel MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TAKE THAT VIRTUAL REPRESENTATION OF VETTEL!!! TAKE IT!!!!!!!! Rinse and repeat all season until both you and Vettel have lost the WDC and scored 0 points, and you've got a new virtual representation to hate... DAMN YOU WEBBER!!! NEXT SEASON YOU'LL PAY 6. You follow Lewis Hamilton on twitter and occasionally retweet him. 7. Every time the FIA give him a ridiculous penalty, or don't give someone else one for coming within three feet of his car, you drink 3 fingers of your drink.... Oh wait... that's a combination of my two favourite conditions... 8. You have a cardboard cutout of the santander sign with Hamilton and Button on, and put a picture of your head on Button's and bend it in half to make them have sex. Nice. 9. If your journey to work isn't going as planned, you phone up your mechanic and give him s**t for 15 minutes. Hope that helps
Well, the poll is neck and neck as I write; tense stuff. Therefore I predict Lewis will take Hamilton out at the next corner and neither will win. Hamilton will then go on to claim that he has had the quicker psychological recovery while Lewis will refuse to talk about it in public as that would not be correct behaviour. No one will understand this. Rinse and repeat.
[video=youtube;lfGpVcdqeS0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGpVcdqeS0[/video] Hamelot Chorus time! We're fans of the F1 Table, We check when ere we're able, We do hair-braids and get dope fades, and add to Lewis' fable. And although we are Hamelots, We hate Vet-tel and Hor-ner a lot. We're fans of the F1 Table, Cause Ham is formidable, But many times, he retires, Because the FIA are a-holes. We're Lewis mad in Hamelot, But we don't have girls around a looooooot. In cars he's fast and able, Quite indefatigable, Between a win parade and wearing shades, he sucks his thumb at tables. It's a busy life in Hamelot, I throw toys out the pram a lot.
Hamilton drops back off the grid and nobody gets a penalty?! Is Charlie being distracted by some kind of Italian beauty?!!!!!!! PUT PAOLO DOWN AND BRING OUT THE DRIVETHRUHAMMEROFJUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rosberg you thigh slapping, bratwurst loving, Bavarian boyband listening to, Leonardo DiCaprio looking like mofo... That **** should be a penalty!
You failed in 2008, and you failed again here Brazilian face... Go wax those stubby eyebrows some more Masshead HAM's TOO GOOD... NICO... He's coming for you!!!!!!!!
For the love of all that's unholy... On that note, P(a)olo, can you stop distracting Charlie with your perfect, statue of David-esque succulent nipnips, and let him do his job... PENALTY FOR ROSBERG please. That's like the 10th time he's done that this season
I can't help but feel Hamilton needs to stop being "cool", "in the zone" and "in a good place", and just f***ing piddle in Rosberg's fuel tank.
Rosberg has absolutely smashed those tyres somehow... Obviously because he's an inferior human-being, oxygen thief. Least he's making it interesting for the neutral before Lewis' supreme victory... What an entertainer
I love the ass-cam on DiCaprio's car... It's pretty similar to the Scherzinger celeb sex tape that will inevitably be released when everyone's about to forget she was Hamilton's girlfriend/f buddy once... Hamilton lurking ominously in the background, slowly getting closer...
Well Hamilton is in prime position here... You're allowed to knock the guy in front of you out the race and not get a penalty apparently
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... Sorry... HAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAMHAM!!!!!!!!!! DiCaprio is almost as f***ing useless at sticking to the track as he is at not freezing to death in the Atlantic
