Why didn't anyone tell me about this??

This is important I think everyone should read.

House spiders across the country are starting to take the piss now, according to homeowners this morning.

With spiders seemingly acting like they own the place, many have spoken of their preference for a time when spiders stayed hidden in the shadows, out of sight.

Home owner Simon Williams explained, “I’m not sure I like these brazen spiders who feels it’s OK to walk across my living room floor in the middle of the afternoon.”

“They should know their place. In the shed.”

“I don’t know what fad diet has hit the spider community, but they all seem massive at the moment.”

“I’m not a fan.”

House spiders everywhere

However a spokespider said they felt it was unfair to expect them to stay hidden forever, explaining, “We’ve been ignored for far too long – we live here too, and we just want to come and go as we please. Is that too much to ask?”

“You might think we’re taking the piss, but really we’ve just decided to stop being so afraid of you.”

“We don’t mean you any harm, but I’d be lying if I said we didn’t find it hilarious to see your reaction to us.”

“The woman who lives in my house literally started crying during X Factor on Sunday, not because of an audition, but because I decided to sit next to her and watch it too.”

“It was hilarious.”

 

can spiders really talk?

 

Only the spokespider I think mate

 

This is exactly why I disagree with Welsh people having access to drugs..

 

It's the most informative thread on here for a while

 

Its full of incorrect facts and poor reporting..

'house' spiders who live in a 'shed' I have house spiders but no shed..

'However a spoke spider said" I'm sorry I can't accept there may be spiders that can speak, they don't have the vocal chord configuration?

Apart from that yes, its very informative and slightly more accurate than the other posts ..

 

There was a ****ing huge one in the hotel restaurant on Wednesday evening !

 

I have one which wanders arond the floor late at night, after midnight, body the size of a 5p .been around for years or generations of them have been had to let it of the dyson as the xyl had hoovered it up, wandered off unharmed

 

Had a few pet tarantula's over the years, if your scared about a few house spiders running around picture how I felt when one of them escaped once!! safe to say the cats stayed in my room for a few weeks.

Still haven't found the ****er he must be on the run around Bristol somewhere.

 

True story, I had one the other night the size of a rat, well really the size of a mouse, I went to catch it using a colander and the cheeky spider said to me 'ha, you won't catch me with that fatty', a minute later I was trying to flush the ****er down the toilet but it was too big to go round the bend, I haven't entered that downstairs bathroom since in case its waiting for me.

 

I can't say I like them much. I was bitten on the foot by one once (I put my bare foot into a slipper and got bitten in the 'webbing' between my toes.
It felt like a wasp sting. It faded away after about 30 mins but I always check my 'pers carefully now!!!

 

did the bite give you super spidey senses?

 

,

 

Antknee, I think you may get 'nomonated' for the thread of the month?

 

LOL - no i'm afraid not!

 

So it wasn't you who put the cob webs on your Mrs fanny.