You're An EXTREME Redneck When... 1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3 You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night. 5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 6 Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.' 7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 9 Your junior prom offered day care. 10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.' 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. And in closing.... Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant. After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?" The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!"
This is too true to be funny. The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money. A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases. A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959. B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive. C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age. D. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet. E. A billion Dollars ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it! Stamp Duty Tobacco Tax Corporate Income Tax Income Tax Council Tax Unemployment Tax Fishing Licence Tax Petrol/Diesel Tax Inheritance Tax (tax on top of tax) Alcohol Tax G.S.T. Property Tax Service charge taxes Social Security Tax Vehicle Licence / Registration Tax Vehicle Sales Tax Workers Compensation Tax Carbon Dioxide Tax STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 60 years ago and our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt. We had the largest middle class in the world. Mum stayed home to raise the kids, Dad and teachers were allowed to discipline kids. A criminals life was uncomfortable. Boat people were kids sailing on the harbour. What the hell happened? 'Political Correctness', ‘Politicians or both?' I hope this goes around Australia and beyond at least 1 BILLION times!
