I know somebody who split from his wife years ago but is only wanting a divorce now. I think they are going to do it without solicitors. Can't you try to decide among yourselves about the children and assets split and then get a divorce in a couple of years time?
If she gets a brief then you need to do the same. You'll rack up a couple of grand in nonsense letters that you'll basically dictate yourself and they'll apply the jargon, and you'll end up where you could have done with an amicable settlement decided over a kitchen table. Avoid like the plague, as soon as the Solicitors get involved the bitterness begins, it's a well worn path - trust me.
This is no laughing matter. The important thing is to make sure you get the foundations right, or the patio can sink at a later date, resulting in an uneven surface which can cause your beer to slide off the table.
No apology needed. 1st time I did it I made the exact same mistake. And getting her to lie still as I put the concrete down was a nightmare.
That's a shame mate, but tbh it seldom does. Good luck with it and however bad it gets, always remember that it'll get better
You need to try to be as 'amicable' as possible and set some parameters where you can find agreement to make it quick as possible. Both write down any agreements you reach and keep copies. You already know you'll have financial responsibility for the kids through maintenance and chances are she'll get the house. Best money tip I can give you is, if you have any pensions do your absolute most to hold on to as much of it as you can. Chances are she / you / both will meet someone else and get a roof over your head again, but you won't replace historical savings cheaply. Good luck.
1st ov all mate u need to actually split(different abodes)....then give it at least 6-10 weeks after that for things to calm the fk down cos i assure you the dislike u have for each now is at least x10 worse for each other when u/other half move out n alls final.you may not see your kids am afraid for 1-3weeks but thats her outta spite knowing mums know they hold the upper hand in a court of law(sickening)...yer gonna have to take that awful unthinkinkable fact on the chin am afraid mate but it will pass...afterall she wants to go out on weekends and meet someone new too....eventually!...so sit tight n approach the amicable way(just solicitors signature(miles cheaper too!))......ps i see my daughter reg and nearly thinking about taking her to see Roary soon!
There is nil chance unless she has a change of heart. She'd rather grind her axe and piss money away than be grown up and concentrate on ensuring the children are getting the best deal. Pretty much the reason why are splitting up actually.
Tried the diplomatic way.........ggrrr shes sounds like a right cnt!....but u walk out and be the big clever guy who the kids should be with.......and mums win everytime!...and thats your answer in a nutshell.srry
Sorry to hear about your plight mate. I hope the following comments, suggestions do not make your situation worse. Just my experience for what it's worth. 1) The kids are the most important. Now & forever. Never forget that, and make sure your wife sees you thinking that way. I'm sure you both do think that way, but you must stress that to her, frequently, as often as not the rational thought process disappears out the window in this stressful time. She needs to understand your desire to get the best for the kids & her & that you are not trying to screw her. I'm sure you are already on that page....but frustration & lawyers can turn that. 2) Lawyers (solicitors) milk the situation - taking advantage of the emotional distrust between the parties and engineering more distrust. They will use the existence of kids to make the rifts deeper. It's one of their strategies to keep the meter running. The last thing a couple finding themselves in this situation need is more stress heaped on them by extra financial burdens. Lawyers thrive on generating adversarial antagonism. They spout "must do the best for my client", but seem to miss the key factor that it's a family unit, not just one sole client. 3) If you & your wife have a trusted mutual friend(s), who will not favour either of you, use them, if they are willing, to try to keep both of you focused on the critical issues: a) the kids future well being, b) equitable asset/financial distribution to maximise the long term needs of the kids, without crippling either mum or dad financially. 4) Use this route as far as you can before you involve lawyers. Many posters have made that comment. If at all possible, try to manage the negotiation through friends/family members you both can trust, who want the best for your kids, to come to a mutually agreed settlement (access to kids & financial). Then just get a lawyer to rubber-stamp that agreement. A number of posters have suggested you wait for a while (cooling-off period) after you separate physically. This is very good advice. It gives both partners a chance to cool down from any anger, disillusionment that has been generated. Plus it gives the kids a form of acclimatization period. Key is you & your wife need to get a reasonable handle on that asap. Getting lawyers heavily involved early can make this impossible. Sorry if I've overstepped here AFF. A tough situation it is, and the old adage "Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned" is a truism in my experience, although I would hasten to generalize. Key is for you to show maximum support for & to the kids, making your wife see that as your major objective for her benefit too. Lawyers, stay away as long as you possibly can. Use family, friends to help you both get as close as you can to a suitable agreement. I wish you & your family all the best in resolving this.
Unless it is amicable then solicitors is the only way Be warned about who gets the blame though as if the courts see one side as more responsible for the breakdown than the other then they almost always end up with the worse of the settlement. You should also be aware that even with solicitors, if she is bloody minded enough it can drag on for over a year, I have a mate whose moved out of the family home (BIG MISTAKE) and then his wife dragged things out by not signing documents, he has ended up paying for his kids, the mortgage & the rent on his own pad for well over a year now
Is that in the uk? Only I've not known the courts look for blame. If anything, they've made a point of saying it's not about blame. Also, I don't understand the mortgage bit, as I know someone struggling because their ex pays nothing but still gets his share of the equity and could still move back until it's sold, and that's been through the courts.
