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My Dog's Got No Nose

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by RAVENBLACK, Aug 19, 2014.

  1. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Did you hear about the guy who did not know the difference between Arson and Incest?

    He set fire to his sister.
     
    #21
  2. EDGE.

    EDGE. Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    Take my wife.....

    ...no seriously, take my wife!
     
    #22
  3. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Are you here all week?
     
    #23
  4. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't say my mother-in-law is a ****......................but she is.
     
    #24
  5. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    My mother in law turned up at my front door the other week. I asked "What do you want?"

    She replied "I've fallen out with Hubby so I want to stay here".

    "So stay here" I said as I slammed the door in her face.
     
    #25
  6. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    A guy got arrested for spraying Domestos all over the fruit and veg aisle in Tesco the other day.

    Police charged him with Bleach of the peach.
     
    #26

  7. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Booooo
     
    #27
  8. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Get aff the ****in stage. Robin Williams corpse is funnier.
     
    #28
  9. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    Did you hear about the magic tractor ? It went down the road and turned into a field.
     
    #29
  10. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    I was telling my mother that I was thinking of opening a theatre. She said "Are you having me on?". I said "it depends, what's your act?"
     
    #30
  11. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Boooooo
     
    #31
  12. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    My mate told me he got a job in a bowling alley.

    "Tenpin" I asked

    "No" he said "it's permanent".
     
    #32
  13. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    There was a prison break and I saw this midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me and I thought, well that’s a little condescending.
     
    #33
  14. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Told my mate I was getting the train to France and he said "eurostar?" I said "thanks very much, I do my best".
     
    #34
  15. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    I went into my local shop and asked for a bottle of brown sauce."HP" asked the shopkeeper,no I said "I'll pay for it now"
     
    #35
  16. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    My bird said she was looking for someone who could give her 12 inches and make her scream. I shagged her four times and slammed her tits in the door.
     
    #36
  17. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    I took a blackout last night.




    Taking her to the pictures next time <ok>
     
    #37

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