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Beards

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bib Fortuna's Maw, Aug 11, 2014.

  1. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #41
  2. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    eight dongs, I've just messaged you.
     
    #42
  3. EDGE.

    EDGE. Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #43
  4. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    Answered it.

    I don't have a f**ing clue about pensions. My wife's a mortgage advisor and had to pass the CEMAPS exam for pensions and investments so I'll ask her tonight.

    Well, I would, except the boot isnae talking to me.
     
    #44
  5. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    I've tried uploading photos from my phone on here and it never works.
     
    #45
  6. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    What did ye do? <laugh>
     
    #46

  7. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Well what better way of getting romantic and back in her good books by asking her about pensions for somebody who you have never met before on a very respectful website?
     
    #47
  8. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    Nothing.

    I f**ed my knee a couple of months ago - the only time it didn't hurt was when I played football, tennis or squash so I kept exercising and it got gradually sorer and sorer.

    On Thursday at fives, I stretched it lunging for a tackle and now it is utterly, utterly f**ed.

    My mates a nurse and reckons it'll be a keyhole operation - going to the hospital tomorrow.

    Anyway, I decided today that I'd work from home today (as carrying the laptop about and limping everywhere is making it worse) - told her this morning and she assumed I was at it and about to get some shagging in.

    So, she threw a plate at me.
     
    #48
  9. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh> threw a plate at you? That's brilliant!! So, how was your mid morning ride with your bit on the side anyway?
     
    #49
  10. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant <laugh><laugh>
     
    #50
  11. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    Bit rougher than normal cos I'd a bit of rage to pump oot of me.
     
    #51
  12. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    <laugh>.
     
    #52
  13. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    No wonder the knees are ****ed with all that secret shagging and plate dodging
     
    #53
  14. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    Aye, but it's not as funny as knowing you gargled Mandingo's fatty load, you old fuddy-duddy
     
    #54
  15. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Hilarious stuff. Keep em coming.
     
    #55
  16. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    You certainly do. That's some top cuck action.



    Disclaimer

    I would like to remind readers that I am merely acting in the spirit with which 'The Internetz' have long been associated. That is, one of contrariness and acting like a **** for no reason. I speak only in jest, and understand that DevAdvocate is a fine soldier who probably amounted to the role of Field Marshal or some **** like that. Further, I wish to take this opportunity to ask Mr Advocate if he would care to join me in Blackfriars Bar on Friday for a drink, bite to eat and a spot of cottaging.
     
    #56
  17. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    When people go cottaging do they charge for felching or is it on the house?
     
    #57
  18. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    I dont know the situation in england, but felching will be free for all at point of access in an independent scotland.
     
    #58
  19. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator Staff Member

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    Cottaging is for ****s.
     
    #59
  20. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    I make it a rule never to Cold Call Or Cold Cottage. Basically i'm anti Cold anything. Apart from maybe Ice.
     
    #60

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