Escape Committee

Now that we've come to the attention of the international press, it's obvious that a number of us will be going down for a 10 stretch in chokey - if not longer. The sensible thing to do is to plan our escape before our incarceration.

To that end, we need to be thinking about what sort of equipment we'll need to aid our escape, and how we'll smuggle it into jail and stop it being discovered by the screws. We also need to form an escape committee. I propose myself as leader because:

• I managed to watch Prison Break right to the end (even the sub-par last season)
• I can quote the best bits from Porridge and can say 'naff off, Ives' in a menacing manner

If you want in on the team, please let me know what role you'd like to play and what qualifies you to do it.

Regards,

Gus 'Stanley Fletcher' Fring

F-Wing

 

No, thanks. Luckily for me I have no distinguishing physical characteristics to I can make my own escape.

The rest of ye's are ****ed.

 

I've seen The Great Escape about a Gazillion times so can I be Big X?

 

I watched Escape to Victory once. I'll be Sylvester Stallone, Gambol looks a bit like John Wark so he can be him and Bealy's obviously got to be Pele, the token black guy.

 

You're in real trouble once they start digging into your previous occupations and the manner in which you conducted yourself.

 

You're in, but give any railway stations a wide berth once we're on the lam.

 

And good at fitba and can do fancy overhead kicks n that

 

Are you any good at throwing spears?

 

Wall to wall cock in the big house ST, you will be passed about like a plate of iceland party snacks....

 

He'll love it.

 

He throws a mean porky spear up your ex

 

I'm guessing Tina will be sent to a women's prison so will be on her own. Still, she'll have that lesbian/prisoner: cell block H vibe going.

 

We'll have to dislocate your shoulder midway through.

Oh, and ER can be the goalie who has to get his arm broken to let the American goalie stand in. Who wants to volunteer to break ER's arm?

 

How much for both arms and legs?

 

Good luck.

Thank you

 

From a skinny veggie nonce with polio. I doubt it you ****in spasticated ****.

 

bealy's the only one who'll look good in orange.

 

Im irish , escaping is no hassle to us. 38 from the maze , Half a football team and the referee from crumlin road jail, seven boys off a prison ship in London.

Ill do my duty and help everyone except prods, jews, muslamic ray gun toting loonies, English, Welsh and Scots.

 

You've been provisionally (geddit?) accepted. However, don't get any ideas about decorating your cell walls an interesting new shade of khaki.

 

Done my time in the scrubbs and have watched Shawshank redemption about 25 times. Once I've tunneled out you can all come and work at my beach hut.