There's a van from Pitween that delivers crackin fish cakes in Norf Lanurkshire. Better to make them yerself. It's a doddle to do.
Cooked salmon is bland and tasteless full stop. I do enjoy a bit of smoked salmon though. Can we still live together?
...or, just have smoked salmon with a poached egg on the side. Let your fork do the hard work. Ya fud.