An Idiot Abroad

av been to cancun. spring break wooooo chad hogans party!

 

I thought the china episode was funny when his driver was sitting eating a foetus

 

Ah, that was disgusting, did you see the way he was eating those noodles on the final episode? He was just shovelling them into his mouth and not really chewing them. The Chinese are ****ing rank, imagine they actually served what Chinese people eat at your local Chinky?

"Aye, I'll have the Number 13, that's the raw eel. And I'll take a side order of 43A, that's the Monkey intestines with plum sauce."

 

av only seen egypt, mexico & india. what other ones is there?

his outlook on life cracks me up. his what's the point attitude is class. he always has a good point tho

 

China, Peru and Brazil I think. The Brazilian one is magic, they make him go stay with a drag queen.

 

aw aye av seen that one aswell. he's on the nudist beach

 

I was on a nudist beach on Tuesday, I wasn't nude but could see all the old ****s with their huge sagging balls.

 

you're wrong and you're a grotesquely ugly freak

 

I hate Gervais too Mick, I think he's a ****. His stand-up is pretty funny though.

I tried watching The Ricky Gervais Show and without Pilkington it would be ****. All Gervais does is call him a "buffoon" and laugh that cheese-grater laugh of his.

At least his Hollywood career is ****. Anyone seen either Ghost Town or The Invention of Lying? They're both ****ing terrible. Not even Louis CK can save that Invention of Lying, I've coughed up lumps of filth in the past two weeks that made me laugh more than that ****-fest did.

 

that's why its funny

 

I've read about 50 pages of the "An Idiot Abroad: Karl's Diary"

What a ****ing load of ****e, it does have some funny bits but how can they get away with publishing a book which is pretty much

That's £5 down the ****ing pan.

 

I liked this watched it first time around.He did moan like **** sometimes but funny as well.

Whats on the cards today then Venom/lads ?

Im in work bored out my skull already and working till 4 might piss off to the bookies at 2.30 then go home to watch soccer Saturday with Jeff and the fannies

 

Stuck offshore DC. The way my job is there just isn't enough work for 15 days, 12 hours a day so I've got to spread it out over the whole trip. Tested one Air Compressor today, that took all of 20 minutes. Now I've just got to pretend I'm busy until knocking off time at 7.

Think I'll sneak off and watch Arsenal/Leeds in my cabin at lunchtime though.

Looks like Miller has knocked back Birmingham to go abroad in the summer. Probably the best move for him as he'll be able to pocket one last big payday before he retires. Plus I'm sick of Scottish internationals going to pishy EPL and Championship teams and warming the bench.

 

I know its good to have some quiet time but that sounds murder.Im quiet as just now but hopefully it will start to pick up soon or i will lock the door and take my Mrs up on here idea of buying a burger van and doing pork rolls at Glastonbury and the other festivals.Good dosh in it but a big risk giving up 2 good jobs and throwing caution to the wind.

Im well peed off with the Miller and the whole Rangers dosh situ.When your losing a player like Miller for £600K its a sad day.Mind you Celtic must be loving it.I want it sorted out pronto then we can look at replacements.

 

It's a bit of a head-**** sitting about all day. I used to be busy all the time in this job when I worked onshore but the pace of work on this platform is ridiculous.

There's a lot of money to be made from that if you're selling decent gear. I bought a shredded wild boar roll for £6 at T in the Park, there wasn't much to it, just a brown roll and a few bits of pork. But it was worth it because a ****ty cheeseburger is £4-5 anyway.

As a Celtic fan I think it could be a big blow for Rangers. But as a fan of Scottish football it's sad when in the space of three transfer windows the likes of McDonald, Boyd and Miller are going to Middlesbrough and Birmingham. The top scorers for the Old Firm for how ever many seasons in a row and they end up at mince like that.

If I was a Rangers fan I'd be worried about who'll replace him for goals if he goes in this window. Jelavic looks a class-act but you can't put all that pressure on a boy who has just come to Scottish football and been out for nearly 5 months. Lafferty will never be a 20+ goals a season striker for Rangers. Same goes for Naismith who has been outstanding this year and probably in with the best chance of Player of the Year if Miller leaves.

 

Typical went for a bacon sanny and came back to 2 lots of customers waiting outside the door.Good stuff.

I think we might be able to cope without him but it will be tough.Laff is not up to the job.Naismith could be the answer up front with Jelly.I just hope Jelly comes back and stays fit,we have had some rotten luck with big money strikers in the past.

 

Aye Rangers seem to be cursed in that area. Rosenthal, Negri and Mols instantly spring to mind. All three were deadly strikers and never seemed the same after getting injured.

Although the Negri one is still a bit of a mystery to this day. Didn't he claim he got hit in the eye with a squash ball then say the Rangers medical staff were hopeless and **** off back to Italy?

I'd worry about throwing Jelavic straight into the action if Miller leaves. At least if Miller is still there he can slowly be brought back to full fitness. Apparently Beattie has been carrying a few niggling injuries all season and that's why he's been pish poor. I was more worried when Rangers got him as I thought he'd be brilliant is the SPL.

Apparently it's the same with that Juarez at Celtic, he was slightly injured then carrying a virus for over a month. You wonder why the clubs don't just give the fans/media all the news to stop speculation and rumour.

 

My Mrs is a total knob.She phones me up saying the Sky is not working,i go home to fix it only to discover the lead at the back of the box is out.Dizzy cow said it was the cleaner but i have my suspicions.

 

I got my mum BT Vision and broadband for her Christmas, she phones me up complaining it's not working and she's tried everything. Daft cow didn't have it on the AV channel. She just had it on TV and wondered why it wasn't working

 

Im thinking about changing over to Virgin media.My Sisters boyfriend can get me a good deal that gets me 3 boxes 2 of them HD sports,movies and broadband and the phone for £45 a month sounds too good to be true.I await his call to come up with the goods.I bet he was just saying it to impress me.