If I could go back in time I would do so much good, save so many lives and rewrite history in the process. For a start I would make Emile Heskey captain of the Titanic and tell him to aim for the iceberg. What would be yours.........................?
I bought a black pudding and potato scone roll from the canteen yesterday morning and the serving women forgot to give me the sachet of brown sauce I asked for, something I didn't discover until I was back in my office. So I'd go back in time ten years and **** my younger self.
Why did God invent orgasms for the Welsh? So they can still ****ing moan even when they're enjoying themselves.