In a statement from the BBC, all future England games will now be shown on the Porn Channel. They think that 11 arseholes being regularly shafted is too explicit for regular TV.
A ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him. One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You have seen his wars and his technological advances. You have seen his progress and the damage he has done." The elder nodded in agreement. The official continued: "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the whitefella go wrong?" The elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute and then he calmly replied: "When whitefella found the land, blackfellas were running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty kangaroo, Plenty fish, Women did all the work, Medicine man free, Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing, All night having sex." Then the elder leaned back and smiled: "Only whitefella bloody stupid enough to think he could improve a system like that."
A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You ok?' she asks. 'Yes,' he replies.. 'You can go and play with the other kids, you know,' she says. 'It's best I stay here,' he says. 'Why's that, sweetie?' asks the blonde.. The boy looks at her incredulously and says: "Because I'm the goal keeper !!!"
Jon is sat at a bar having a quiet drink. All of a sudden a smoking hot Blonde walks up to him, she is holding hands with an oriental friend. "hey Mister, you wanna smell my mates pussy?" he thinks 'blimey I'm IN here!'..... "ooh yes please!"... so she breathes in his face and walks off.