Thats when he looked down and saw he'd had a transplant, the hammerhead had been replace by a baby badger...
That gave RHC a brilliant idea. Maybe his legs HAD been amputated- but the baby badger that was sewn on where his todger should have been still had legs- maybe his badger-todger could do the walking for him. He pushed himself off the bed with his arms and landed flat on the ground... the fat fick squished the baby badger as he landed on it.
He decided to discharge himself but realising he no longer had a home to go to (inferno destroyed it), he quickly grabbed a sandpit cover shaped like a shell from the visitors room, attaching it to his back using his now unemployed belt...
For month after month, RHC crawled around like this on the floor, with the shell on his back making him look like a giant turtle... pulling himself along on his arms, his squished badger-todger leaving a bloody trail across the floor... and after seven months like this, he finally made it to the hospital door.
He eventually escaped the hospital but not before realising he wasn't a turtle, he was a snail (FFS...). He proceded to the bus stop where he waited for months whilst some weird fat bloke with dodgy knees and back get starring at him...
"Snail?" he thought "how can I be a bloody snail if I still have arms? Snails don't have limbs! Turtles do!" As he was thinking that, the fat bloke with the bad back chopped off his arms with a machete... ... "I'll take these home to Zingy and my daughters" he said as RHC weeped!
Not wanting to focus on the daughters as this is something he regularly steers clear of, he decided he wanted to watch some porn but without arms or legs he resorted to watching a French couple in a cob shop...
The dodgy bloke worked as a journalist and mistook rhc for a fitness fanatic due to him having no legs and some orange peel hanging out of hjs coat pocket...
"My friend what have you done to yourself". The jouralist friend asked."Those b..tard cannot be trusted" RHC said. His friend then said "better take you to the hospital, you are in a terrible state". Then they went to the hospital.
I'm actually lost for words. I'm now seriously thinking of leaving, because insanity has touched this forum. Seriously what the **** caused that outpouring of total lunacy. You all need to seek help.
i didn't contribute anything to this... you should be grateful greez hasn't made it all about him and seemingly this drivel became an ode to rhc whom everyone seems to love.... for some reason
I always say: what's life without a little whimsy? Actually, I don't always say it. In fact, that's probably the first time.
At the hospital he was treated using a new stem cell method and grew a new pair of arms and legs overnight. Unfortunately the were the arms and legs of a chimp, but this was better than the snail/turtle hell he had recently endured. He left the hospital feeling brand new and ready for whatever the world was to throw at him with his hairy chimp arms and legs...
