RHC watched as The DR Says entered the forest. "Thank goodness it isn't Saturday" RHC mused... "or my arse would be really painful!"
"Ah, but it is Saturday, my friend," The DR Says said with a smile. He undid his belt and Dave dropped to the forest floor. As he shuffled towards RHC, with Dave around his ankles, he looked at him with a mischievous glint in his eye and said: "Come to The DR Says, I have an injection you require!" . . .
RHC suddenly remembered the apple he kept between his moobs for just such an occasion... he reached between his moobs and pulled out the apple...
He threw the apple, with Dave's peckerhole in it, with all his might, striking The DR Says in the forehead with the magic, holey apple, and killed him stone dead. "An apple a day keeps the tosspig DR away you motherf**king demonic f**khound!" he screamed, as he ran off celebrating with the tribe of woodland badgers who had made him their king. They were carrying him aloft on their shoulders and singing mad as **** songs, just like the Ewoks did after the battle of Endor, except the badgers were more realistic-looking and less annoying! But the merriment soon ceased as . . .
He was just noticing this when the vampire tarts from the office next door appeared... they took one look at his bellybutton "ham head" and laughed.
Hiding his shame, and his moobs, he salved his fractured ego with the aid of a comely (fnaar!) badger sow. Their disgusting fornications were shown for entirely too long on a TV documentary, as their tryst was interrupted by a well-known BBC wildlife program . . .
... Doctor Who. I've never seen this type of alien before, the doctor said as he stuck his sonic screwdriver up RHC's anus.
And, ignoring RHC's drunken ranting and pointlessly predictable bursts of expletives, he used his Gallifrayan strength to man-handle the decrepit Warrington Terrier into his TARDIS where . . .
Distracted by the TARDIS orgy, the Doctor failed to see the tribal badger hoards entering the TARDIS in a desperate bid to rescue their bombastic king . . .
The badgers stole the hijack and ended up flying back in time to Arthurian Britain. They landed in the Lady of the Lake's pond right as...
The watery bint was using her, rather redundant, vaginal-douche. RHC's interest was piqued, she was the spit of Denice from the Cheese! . . .
RHC began to notice that the lake was actually liquid whey. He began to muse... "hmmm... so she is the lady of the cheese after all!" He was so impressed by his observation that he didn't notice that approaching him from behind was...
The Black Knight, Matth, who always triumphs, riding upon his trusty steed, Seabiscuit (aka King Shergar). Matth dismounted King Shergar, pulled forth his famous blade, m ong the merciless, and clinked his way ominously towards our sozzled protagonist . . .
It was at this point he started crying and calling mummy asking "what are those asian ladies doing with that octopus? "
"They're doing what they're bloody well paid for! An' I teld you not to come down here when I'm working, man!" The lady of the lake, Denice, Matth's mum, rebuked. "Back to your cage, put that useless nag back in his field, and talk drivel to bored passers-by who won't listen to you about your beloved ye olde foot-the-ball!" . . .
Bbbbbut hes mmmmmmy fwiend and youre a mmmmmean mother said berb who gets all stuttery around women even matths mummy
