He is worried about what the tarot card reader told him not to go out on Friday the 13th. He has to phone in sick at work. His Line manager is not happy because he has been taking too many time off recently.
His line manager is fuming, but in a strange way RHC senses a quiet optimism omitting from him. "My wife has been neglecting me", says the line manager in an eery tone. "If you want your job, your rectum has to be mine", RHC sat and pondered, he had always held a soft spot for his line manager, ever since the last office Christmas party where they made passionate love in the toilets. He didn't want to make a rash decision, so he rang his best pal Dribbles for some advice...
This reminds me of one of our Drama plays at School. Pulp Fiction had just been released, and so every time the teacher gave us carte blanche to put on a performance, it inevitably descended into a gay rape scene, which we all found hilarious! Kids eh?!!!
Said Dribbles. "Right! That's no help at all, Dribbles!" replied RHC, before hanging up. "Perhaps my good mate Gerrez, the unmarried W*nkpig, will be of more help with my predicament?" he opined, as he dialled Greez's number expectantly.
Now, it 's time to look for a consolation from CCC, because others have turned him down. How to approach CCC is what occupies his mind at the moment.
Greez said. "Great," said RHC, "now you f*cking sound like Dribbles! I'm not going to call that ******ed f*ckpig CCC because he's off gallivanting around as the rampantly camp Toasterman. Perhaps I'll head down The Cheese and see if Denice will give me some free shots?" RHC then . . .
I'm literally lost for words Is dribbles writing in the same story, or are there two (minimum) going at the same time
Toasterman managed to kill Blatter at a French cafe in a manner akin to Vito Corleone slaying Don Ciccio, became an absolute hero in the eyes of many, and was given keys to the cities of Liverpool and Dublin.
Unfortunately toasterman had no hands to hold the key, or neck to hang it on meaning he kept losing them. What he really needed was a sticky substance to help stick the keys to his toasted body...
Then it hit him . . . snail trails. He could try to stick things to his lightly golden torso with mollusc exuded mucus.
Breaking news: A cete of badgers was let loose onto the Manaus pitch by Brazilian authorities in a last ditch effort to flatten it.
Line added: please log in to view this image Story: Once upon a time there was a ... a ... big forest. And in that forest there lived a pair of trousers. Um, called . . . er . . . Dave. . .
There was a dirty man who usually meet his lady friend in the forest. Unfortunately for him on this day he was caught with his pants down by the Forest Guard. The guard asked him "what are you up to?" "I have some brown envelopes here if you can keep quiet".. the man said." "What do you have in the envelope?" said the guard...then the man "Your wages for one week". The guard said " I have not seen you then". "You can come every day ".. added the guard
The man left, leaving his trousers behind. Which was how Dave became a local resident in the big forest.
Dave eventually left the forest hearing that Luis Suarez had been banned for four months. "I want that b..tard dead" he said.
"So do I," said RHC as he looked up from being ploughed in the rump, "how did I end up in a forest with Dave though? I must have been rufied!"
Indeed he had been roofied by the thai ladyboy with the ample breasticles, that he hooked up with every other weekend.
"Damn you, Denice!" he raged, "damn you and your dodgy lock-ins, and your jizz-badger 'free' shots! I will never patronize the f*ckpig Cheese again!" At that moment, he happened to glance to his right, where he saw a moist badger. "On second thoughts," he mused, "I really need a clungepony of a drink right now! Damn you and your f*cking BBQ games as well, Greez, my arse is killing me!"
"Laugh out loud" he said as denice announced that " it wasnt badger jizz at all , it was infact skunk spunk." Deep down this was no laughing matter and the old fecker knew it.
