Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Football, Golf, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate. Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the I Thought You Loved Me app and run the Tears function. You may like to try the Guilt function also. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband. In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. Good Luck, Tech Support.
A man who allegedly got stuck in a greasy fish and chip shop vent while trying to break in has proved slippery once again. Media had gathered at the Christchurch District Court to see Porou Tyman Lypton Wrathall, 18, of the Christchurch suburb of Northcote, appear in the dock. He was remanded until July 14. He instead appeared before a Christchurch District Court registrar, entered no plea to a burglary charge, and left court unnoticed. Wrathall is charged with burgling a fish and chip shop in Langdons Rd, Papanui, on June 17. Police allege Wrathall was found after becoming stuck in an extractor duct for hours and calling for help. His first court appearance after his arrest was delayed because he was admitted to hospital suffering from hypothermia and crush injuries hope this weren't your place acs
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip Of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the Emergency Room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting Off your finger?' 'No, Silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & Then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants... I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 To get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 'So then?' 'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a Loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the Trigger.
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad Hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he Decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the Tail pipe really hard and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started Blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little Harder and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her To blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'
