3rd signing to be announced on Monday?

After reading today's Mail it seems Ashley has once again been thwarted in getting his £200m bonus ( 4th time ) after the big institutions refused to back his new bonus pool. He apparently tried to get it via adding himself to staff pool but was told targets were far too low and easily achievable.
We can all be assured now that he'll take the huff and not pay a further penny out to our transfer fund. Greedy bastard.

 

The devious fat bastard.

 

New signing news - we've picked up promising defender Remie Streete from a club, possibly South American, called "Serious Injury", the same club we picked up experienced right back Ryan Taylor from. We're also considering signing another defender, Lubo Satka, from "NUFC U-21's". Not sure where they're from, possibly Austria?

Takes us to 5 for the Summer, this is beyond our wildest dreams.

 

Rumour also has it that long time target Hesakmi is over the line, or on the line, or solving linear equations or something.

I am so happy about NUFC right now. The total ****s.

 

We've been after Hesakmi for two years now mate. If we were going to sign him, he would be here by now.

 

I don't there is still hope the Finnish legend will sign. JPF spotted him coming through customs. When quizzed he claimed to be simply here for Silverstone to support his good friend Valtteri Bottas. Why fly into Newcastle though?

 

So I noticed Ander Herrera, who's at the World Cup (for now!), has managed to be signed by Manchester United, by the also-at-the-World-Cup-and-not-yet-in-charge manager, Louis Van Gaal.

However, for Alan Pardew and his team to attempt to sign players who aren't at the World Cup, it's an impossible struggle.

It defies belief. Fairly typical that it would happen the day after he moaned.

Never fear, though - Jack Colback is in fact a Purple. What a fcking club. I was thinking I had one more season in me, but now I'm just not sure I can be bothered.

 

In case people still read this forum, looks like Fulham have signed Taggart, the Aussie CF, on a three year deal. Still, it's not as if he was in Brazil I suppose. Plus Fulham have the lure of the PL to attract players.

 

I always like a good finish.

 

At this rate central midfielder Colback will be playing right back.

 

shola will save us.

 

If you guys need a right back can you start a petition to sign G.Johnson. He's English as well and Pardew has been saying he wants to try and sign moer English players. We won't quote £14m for him either... probably have him for £1m

 

Really, still a good squad player at Liverpool, despite having a disappointing World Cup.

 

One player we won't be signing is Ryan Gauld from Dundee. He's off to Portugal. DaveyMoyesWife will be totally gutted.

 

Broken man. 3m. Peanuts for a future superstar.

Back on the drink tonight.

 

Just for a bit of extra beel, 3 ****ing million. We paid that for brie heed! Clearly Sporting is a good move in terms of coaching and progression. At 21, he'll be signing on for Chelsea or Man U.

Probably not ready for the PL. Still though...............