The young man was half-way through climbing the stairs when he heard squeals and grunts coming from his parents bedroom. "I hope the old perv is not parading in drag by the mirror again", thought the young man. He approached the bedroom threshold with a pounding heart and queasy anticipation. What he saw was two large men, butts in the air, their colourless masses of hairy human flesh standing side by side, each split into two halves, being fed live snails through their anuses by a haggard woman standing on her knees, her large extremely elongated breasts wiping the sheets in rhythmic motion as she shoved the little beady creatures down one's man butt and then the other's. "Dad!" he yelled. "Enricky, son!" RHC yelped in embarassment. "It's not what you think... . She is my Nurse... administering suppositories for my particular heart condition, you know! ... Snails carry the drug faster down the hole." "And who is this other fat-a*se, dad?!" "Oh, hum, he is Greez, a homeless patient down the street, suffering from the same condition. We welcomed him up here out of the kindness of our hearts." "And what is Zingy doing under the fu*king bed, dad?"
I thought it was "add a line" People are getting too carried away on here making up their own stories
One day CCC woke up and had some toast. He hadnt realised his toast was mouldy and for some reason not explained until the 8th sequel, he mutated into a superhero called.... erm, toasterman.
Toaster man was eager to learn what he could do with his new found power. Stepping outside, he realised the burning smell that stalked him like Matth hanging out the back of Ryan Giggs, and he knew stealth would not be one of them.
So, rather unstealthily, Toasterman headed to the last bastion of his kind: The Cheese! Because, when all was said and done, Toasterman was a bit of a melt!
So the barman said "I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread the other day until I realised it said THICK CUT" to which the whole bar erupted in laughter at my expense. '****s!' I thought to myself. Side note: For some reason when the cheese is mentioned I always think of these sketches, I wonder which character RHC might be [video=youtube_share;ETqncRvQHWk]http://youtu.be/ETqncRvQHWk[/video]
Since Greez the tarot card reader have no time for him.. he is considering a more sinister alternative.
Toasterman was unperturbed by their paltry taunts -- he knew he was no figure of fun! -- and so he continued sipping his cherry brandy, with a slice of pineapple and pink umbrella. Then he was accosted by one on the local louts; part-robocop, part Frank Gallagher.
"What the **** are you doing" , said Robofrank in a gruff, menacing tone,"haven't you been told, we don't serve food in 'ere". (Sorry)
Toasterman continued sipping his manly beverage. Robofrank's insulting rebuke was somewhat less menacing as he seemed, in his inebriation, to be addressing a nearby barstool. Toasterman was about to cut his losses and go to the nearby gay bar (a frequent haunt of the gentleman still haranguing the innocent bar stool, if the locals were to be believed!) when in walked . . .
(Silence)............. The blood rushed through his veins as he struggled to adjust to the adrenaline overload, his heart pounded like it was going to burst out through his chest. Temperatures were reaching boiling point, inside his head chaos reigned. But outside, the silence was almost deafening.
"Hello, RHC," said the druggie, "stop talking to that chair, la! I've got more of that fishing tackle you ordered!"