Football Chat Up Lines

Saw this cracker of a post over on the SCFC2 guestbook. Time to get our thinking caps on and come up with a few more to add to the list

Is your name Hazard? Because you're Eden back to mine tonight.
Is your name Diego? Because I'm Forlan for you.
Is your name Jordi? Because I don't want to be Alba myself tonight.
Is your name Raul? Because Albiol you need.
Is your name Jermain? Because you'll Defoe be coming home with me tonight.
Are your boobs real? I Petr Cech.
Is your name José? Because I think you're the special one
Is your name Tim? Because I Sherwood like to bang you
Is your name Wenger? Because I love your Arsene tits.
Do you play for Man United? Because I love seeing you go down.
Is your name Dzeko? Because I'd like to get my Edin between your legs.
Are you a genie? Because you make my Lampard.
Are you a Chelsea fan? Because I want to put my Willian you.
Is your name David Moyes? Because it looks like you want the sack.

 

I used to use this in Barron's:

Is your name Nathan? Cos you're ****ing Dyer.

 

Is your name Monk because you work for god..

 

Dyer was twinkle in his dads eye when Barons was open

 

Jinx.....Thank you monk ...

 

OK I used a bit of artistic licence lol.

 

Almost as much as in Braveheart!

 

Is your name jazz because you like to trumpet rich hearts

 

Is your name Ferrie? Because your Bodde is sending me over board.

 

Is your name Rangel? Because you suck like an Angel.

 

Is your name Ash? Because I fancy a bash.

 

Is your name Wilf or Milf? Either way you're taking care of this big Bony for me.

 

(In Glaswegian accent)

Is your name Gueret? 'Cos I've gawt a big Willy fer yay!

 

As you can tell I'm pleased to Michu

 

Is your name Freestone? Because I'd like to Roger the living **** out of you.....and you've got **** all chance of a clean sheet.

 

Is your name Julian? 'Cos your pussie's Aaaaallll-sopping wet for me. (better in a Geordie accent that one )

 

Is your name Bony or are you just pleased to see me...

 

I won't be using that one, thats for sure lol

 

Can I poop in your handbag ?

 

Oi luv hold my pint while I go for a Shyte, you've pulled !