Light moderation, **** it or fight it, funny stories, see how it goes and were it takes us thread.......
opened a can of worms here syd.... once when i lived down south, a knock on the door... an indian fella was there, ah Mr. d...., you have tv licensce.. you ****ing what... i want to see your tv licensce,, sorry mate, i don't live here, i'm only visiting my friend (daughter in the back back, screaming, dad, dad) i want to come come in a check, and begins to step into house..... come any closer mate and believe me, your gonna get f....ing b.....erd well next day, coppers at the door...pissing themselves laughing.. licensce in the missus name and he got fired for trying to come into the house.....oh british justice.. And this is a true story.......
Cypruss,why do nurses have no sense of humour??I had an appointment to see the nurse today at our local surgery.She took my blood pressure,which was up....well,she is a good looking nurse!!She then took my weight and said I had lost two pounds since my last visit.I said"that's great...add another ten pounds on,as I've been to William Hill's and lost!!She didn't see the funny side.
Blimey, mate you were doing well to get an appointment at your local Surgery. We have to book abut three weeks in advance and by then you're either better or dead. Last time I saw the Doctor I told him I thought I was a pair of curtains. He told me to pull myself together. Thank you, thank I'm here all week and the chickens not bad. Take my mother-in-law, please!
Jordan Henderson was on his welcoming party. Had one to many bevys, and staggered outside, for a slash. Where-upon he cast young his young naive eye upon this shell-suited beauty. "Eh la fancy ago for a fiver"? Not understanding the unfamiliar language, and a bit worse for ware, he though, yeah sod it, i'll have a bash... So he staggers over, "ow pet, what de aye get for a fiver like man"? "Ey Ey, well it's like this la, you gis a fiver, close ya eyes and i'll mak ya dreams your come true, you;ll be we'll and truly ****ed" So he closes his eyes young jordan, and thinks of england (u-21s). He feels the warm pleasure of hot lips around his knob and moan in pleasure. When it was to much to take he screamed "get in there lads, come on sunderland, i ****ing love ya till i die". After a few minutes, the drunken ectasy wore off, and he managed to pull his pants pants up, and off he staggered down the street. Where-upon, he bumped into Andy Carroll, big grin on his face, and his Kappa trackie bottoms coverd in dirt, and with what looked like milk dripping from his chin. "Andy, Andy, ya wouldn't believe what just happened like" A wink and a nod, said it all...."Ya scored tonite ya mackem twat, and am Gerrards bum chum, divin't forget it"
