Pardew Wants Shola Contract Extension.

A door-stop? A hat-stand? Toilet brush? Dartboard? Firewood?

 

Multi talented.

 

I think many on here and in general miss Shola's main attribute.......scapegoat!! Time and time again he's been the team's scapegoat, game going to ****e; throw on Shola they'll all remember how ****e he was and not the other player's under-performances, no passing game; lump it to Shola it's his fault then, manager under pressure: offer Shola a contract!

He's the world's best scapegoat, it's not fair to allow a player with such a speciality to join another club. Moyes even tried to surpass Shola's ability this season but got sacked instead...a true scapegoat doesn't go that far...just show's how good Shola is at his scapegoat role is offset by his goals in derbys!

Plus he's even taken to playing for Nigeria just to act as a NUFC scout in the heart of the world cup in Brazil. He's dedicated to misdirection, always putting club needs before his own, he's even enlisted his siblings assistance in his missions over the last few seasons.

He'll be running stadium tours at SJP, coaching the junior teams, organising the every commercial aspect of the club and over seeing the first team by next year. The managers he's played under he should either be a legend or be in need of counselling!!

 

This would be like a new signing which we got over the line

 

Quality.

No wonder Pardew loves him so much. It has to be somebody's fault.

 

That would be a first!

 

This really has to be bollocks.
The only job he should be offered is burger flipper.

 

If that useless **** ever cared about the club he would **** off in the summer - even if a contract was stupidly offered to him.

 

I honestly think he's starting to hate the fans.

 

Another one on Ashley's payroll that does....

 

I've heard he's good at flipping Buggers.

 

Judging by his reaction at half time at Stoke, he's also good at flipping off a few fans.

 

Hang on, maybe there is good business sense here. Liverpool are reportedly going to spend big in the summer, so maybe Mike is looking to get Shola to sign a contract so he can then sell him to 'Pool for £30m+. That could fund our new squad. He's a clever guy that Mike Ashley.

 

Shola's effectively sealed his exit. But I am going to give him credit where its' due - he's been interviewed by BBC Radio Newcastle and essentially blamed the board. Close the door on the way out, Shola, drafts cost money.

http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/spor...s/shola-ameobi-accuses-magpies-chiefs-7023585

Disagree that this is the only failing of Pardew, but its' 100% fair comment. Good lad.

 

Fair comment from Shola.

 

Expect Shola to be absent from the squad now with a 'mysterious' injury.

 

Well said Shola.

Now let's just hope that mike bother's to pay attention and then takes action.

 

I can see the conversation with Alan now.

"Right Pards, change of tack. You are not allowed to pick clownfeet. He's been a **** in the press."
"You said he counted as player and I had to use him"
"Not anymore he is barred. He is leaving in the summer anyway"
"Ok you're the boss. Can we discuss the summer rebuilding programme including replacing Shola. He did make a valid point"
"No and there will be no replacement, I'm looking for us to do some streamlining of the squad. Now bend over"
"B b b b but Mike............"
"BEND OVER YOU LITTLE MAGGOT"

 

A fly on the wall DMW?

 

Funny. Yet, I fear, frighteningly plausible.