Get up in the morning thread

Correction, no one wants to talk to you, and stop sucking up Dan's arse, it's nauseating

 

Noise on public transport should be banned!

No talking

No phones

no coughing

No sneezing

Asking the busy driver "does this go to ...." - banned

 

Good attempt, plenty of potential, but it's almost as if you tried too hard.

Maybe you're funnier when you're sober?

 

Charity Muggers

 

I knew but wanted to make a joke...

 

My, you sound like the perfect travel companion stranger, Dev.

It's when the ****s play music out their phone that is the most annoying though.

 

I am a real people person, always considerate, always mindful of others. If only everyone were like me this topsy-turvy, mixed up, crazy old world would be a far better place.

 

Do you still get them up there? Haven't seen one on a tube in a long time. It tends to be confined to the station forecourts which I don't mind as much.

 

I knew but I was intent of pooh poohing your joke, I can be hurtful at times.

 

Is it yer rag week ya ****in jessie

 

Argyle St and Buchanan Street is crawling with the ****ers.

 

That's what he told himself when he was murdering innocent pikey babies.

 

My battle plan on PT is that I wish to draw as little attention to myself as possible, therefore I keep my music volume to a level I can enjoy it without annoying my fellow Indians, Pakistanis, Filipinos and Arabs, ensuring we can all have a pleasant journey on the metro together.

Except they all f**king stink.

 

Even homicidal military killers need people skills ER

 

Because working class Scottish people are ****ing mugs and give money to any **** who rattles a tin in their face. Hence why the likes of the IRA, UDA and even the BNP & NF made a fortune outside Scottish Fitba grounds for years.

 

The only annoying thing about people wearing headphones is I canny help trying to work out what they're listening to.

Quite a challenge when all ye can hear is "tiss tss tiss, tiss tss tiss, tiss tss tiss"

Is every **** listening to the same song?

 

This is true, I give towards charity in my own way, a particular favourite of mine is the Dementia lot, when I see one I just think of ER and give them a fiver.

 

Whit is it with Tesco these days? ****s wi buckets collecting every day. Making me feel bad for ignoring them.

 

The one that rips my knitting out is that Cancer advert "Cancer, we're coming to get you"

What ****ing genius came up with that ****e?

 

I know - I went to race for life in london to watch my nieces last year and they had a mass warm up before hand - 3,000 people dancing to the "Cancer Slam"...