Get up in the morning thread

Whit is yer routine?

Mine is...

Piss.
Switch on BBC News, or Sky News, or BBC Radio Scotland.
Large mug of builders tea.
Smoke.
Curse like **** cos I didny do the dishes last night.
Do the dishes.
Refill ma tea.
Smoke.
Leccy shave.
****.
Shower.
Refill ma tea.
Smoke.
Think about what I need to get done today.
Iron whatever am wearing today.
Get dressed.
Pack my lappy bag.
Go to work.

 

Piss
Get a drink of cold water
Smoke
****
Shower
Brush teeth
Sit on bed foaming at the mouth
Put under garments on
Sit on bed fuming
Smoke
Get dressed
Sit on chair and put socks on feet
And **** off

 

Get up.
Kick leg of bed/door jam/item of furniture.
Swear heavily.
Bleed.
****.
Brush teeth.
Drink mouthful of tea.
Burn mouth.
Spit out tea.
Swear.
Exit.

 

My routine is quite busy.

Wake up
Get raped
Raise my arms
Shield my face
Cry
Clean up the blood & reset my nose
Apply heavy make up
Put my false teeth in
Pretend it's all ok and it'll be different tomorrow
Wish it was him instead

 

fuxake .

Get up coffee & ***
****
Shower
Shave
Teeth
Dress
Coffee
Go to work

 

Fixed that for yie Gambol.

 

Keep this list for when you have Alzheimers

 

ffs

Get up
scratch my nethers
cup of tea
make lunch
shower
off to work

 

Get up.
Put Sky News on.
Coffee.
Shower.
Dressed.
Sort laptop etc.
Teeth, hair, aftershave.
Go to work.

 

When I wake up in morning light,
when i put on my jeans and I feel alright.
I pull Brutus Jeans on, I pull my Brutus Jeans on.

 

Get up
Put Sky News On
Coffee
Check any open trades on laptop
****
Clean teeth
Coffee
Medication
Check emails, facebook, not606
Coffee
Toast
Check Shares news
Place new limit trades
Watch markets opening activity
Think about looking for a job/Do some work/Laze about till I can be bothered to walk dogs

 

Dump/Piss
Shower
No shave
Get dressed
Check for any alien activity in the sky
Mope around for a bit
Go to work
Cup of tea/copious amounts of water
then first ***
remind myself of just how good life is
fall asleep
go home via the pub for couple of pints and a laugh

 

*Oh aye, forgot about brushing teeth

 

Piss
Get out of bed
Take off last night's clothes
Put on clothes from day before
Radio on
Coffee
Breakfast
Go to work
Coffee
do some work
Go home

repeat

 

Almost everyone on here seems to have modeled their morning routine on DI John Rebus.

 

That's because almost everyone on here is a semi-functional alcoholic.

 

I shoulda thunk of that

 

At least Rebus has an excuse; he's fictional. The rest of these ****s are halfway to jakehood.