.....is currently filming outside my house. Anyone got any gardening questions they want answered? or shall I just give him a slap?
I'd like you to ask him what his listening figures are for his radio show. I imagine that 97% of people alive are too young to have heard of ANY of the songs he plays.
On one of his shows he played an entire Opera. What's the point of him even been there, a monkey could have hosted that show.
At least he's a better gardener than novelist. (Never heard him on radio, except "Gardeners Question Time")
Ask him how much he got paid for kissing the Duke of Edinburghs ass that time, was worse than the BBC woman the other week!
Tell him to dig a hole about 6 feet deep. Then both of you jump in it, and I will come round and fill it in.