Well, he got a bit over excited watching the final of the voice and put his back out doing a back flip. He's having a bit of a sit down now with a copy of "Take a Break" ( he likes a puzzle, does the lad), and a hot mug of Bovril.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck If a woodchuck could chuck wood? He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, And chuck as much as a woodchuck would If a woodchuck could chuck wood. And WTF is a Woodchuck.. #forgivemylanguage
He did mate. I hate to say it though, he wasn't dead when you buried him, he was just hibernating, poor little bugger.
They are more commonly known as grounghogs, nasty little bastards they are, gnaw your bollocks off as soon as look at you. The answer is 23 kilos of wood pern hour, on average.
Nah, he hasn't been that hands on for a couple of millennia now, just kicking back a bit. Although, the signs of the apocalypse have started to show, with Bruce Forsythe leaving strictly and that.
Is it true that if just before I die, I say "sorry I know a was a bit of a **** all those years and I love you", I'll go to heaven? It's just I intend being a **** for quite a while yet.