1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

OT: Ask Jesus.......

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Jesus Christ., Apr 5, 2014.

  1. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    Word up mother ****ers! Been getting prayers from y'all asking me all kinds of ****, mainly for lottery wins and stuff.

    Here I, a bloke calling himself Jesus, give you the chance to put questions to me. I might answer, I might not. Let it be known that I am writing this whilst having a **** in a pub toilet, so responses may not be quick.

    Anyway, hit me bitches...
     
    #1
  2. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2011
    Messages:
    49,428
    Likes Received:
    30,918
    What is the address of the First Self-Righteous Church of Pascagoula Mississippi?
     
    #2
  3. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    On the corner of Pascagoula Street and Live Oak Avenue
     
    #3
  4. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    34,977
    Likes Received:
    9,296
    Can you please fix it that billy the proddy dog is on permanent toilet cleaning duties in heaven.:tongue:


    but give him a few more years before you hand him his mop and bucket.:tongue:
     
    #4
  5. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    There's a squirrel cull near that church as I understand.
     
    #5
  6. Can you please give the mods a spine each? Also fix RHC's while you're at it?
     
    #6
  7. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    For you, yes.
     
    #7
  8. saintanton

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    39,934
    Likes Received:
    28,028
    How much change have I got in me kecks?
     
    #8
  9. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    Some things are beyond even my powder, I have long given up on you Mods. I actually don't believe in you. If there were mods, there is no way so many bad things would happen in the world.

    Good to see RHC is on the mend. It was all that Denise what done it.
     
    #9
  10. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    Enough for half a pint of best and a tube of Toffos.
     
    #10

  11. You been on it? <whistle>
     
    #11
  12. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    Yes, apologies for my ****wittery.
     
    #12
  13. Page_Moss_Kopite

    Page_Moss_Kopite Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    34,977
    Likes Received:
    9,296
    Mucho gracious.<ok>
     
    #13
  14. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2011
    Messages:
    49,428
    Likes Received:
    30,918
    Is this quote true?

    "You know the phrase softly softly catchee monkey? &#8230;I could catch a monkey - if I was starving I could. I&#8217;d make poison darts out of the poison off deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself, you&#8217;ll be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times."
     
    #14
  15. saintanton

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    39,934
    Likes Received:
    28,028
    I don't know, what's the Universe coming to when even Jesus S. Christ can't spell?




    I blame the parents.
     
    #15
  16. How often do you have to ring Robbie for advice?
     
    #16
  17. astro

    astro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2012
    Messages:
    46,790
    Likes Received:
    15,882
    TBF his deadbeat dad did sack him off after getting his ma pregnant on a one night stand
     
    #17
  18. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    How would you make the darts to put the poison on?
     
    #18
  19. Jesus Christ.

    Jesus Christ. Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2011
    Messages:
    750
    Likes Received:
    134
    The parents didn't speak English. Anyway, my spelling is fine, it is all you that are wrong.

    I still love you all though. That's the beer talking too.
     
    #19
  20. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2011
    Messages:
    49,428
    Likes Received:
    30,918
    Wood and a sharp knife.


    You're the one who's supposed to be answering the questions <grr>
     
    #20

Share This Page