H&S gone mad

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Magic Laudrup 11

Magic Laudrup 11

Well-Known Member
Forum Moderator
Jan 21, 2010
6,615
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East Kilbride
I work for a civil engineering consultancy that is aiming to have 0 (zero) accidents. We get updates on all kinds of stupid things employees do, including cutting their hand while buttering a roll with a steak knife <doh>

They are even attempting to get rid of all accidents that are not preventable. A woman tripped up over her own feet and spilled coffee on herself. She accepted full blame, but they've now installed mirrors at every kitchen so you can see if people are coming out of it with tea or coffee.

One of the bosses filed a near miss report when he seen a random member of the public cross the road when she shouldn't have, even though there was no traffic in either direction <laugh> Now if we get caught crossing the road in an unsafe manner (when there is no green man) we can be disciplined <laugh>
 
It's pure pish.

I need to do Method Statement and Risk Assessments all the time.

In the Method Statement, I put down that Operatives had to wear Dust Masks when working in this particular area of the building, they werent allowed to wear the dust masks because the hadn't been to a £60 a man course teaching them how to wear the mask <doh>

ITS A FUKIN DUST MASK!!!!
 
Health and Safety has taken over the world.

Christ man, when I was a kid every bleedin' day was a risk. No such ****in' thing as risk assessments.

This is what made humans great - by experimenting and taking risks, not knowing what was going to happen.

Absolute pish.

Nowadays nobody wants to try anything in case someone gets a sore pinky or something.

What a load of bollocks.

Life is all about taking risks.

Now excuse me I have just seen someone without a lid on their cup of tea and I am going to issue a STOP card and have a conversation to try and let the guy see the error of his ways and how this one small incident may result in a cataclysmic series of events and ultimately the end of the human race as we know it.
 
We get 'referred' if we're caught going up or down the stairs and not holding the bannister. If you hold the thing you get black hands from the polish they use on it.

I need to go to training courses for risk assessments and method statements, even though I done both at college.

Last week I went to an asbestos awareness session that lasted 4 hours, and basically if we see white dust, don't breath it in.
 
Magic Laudrup 11 said:
We get 'referred' if we're caught going up or down the stairs and not holding the bannister. If you hold the thing you get black hands from the polish they use on it.

I need to go to training courses for risk assessments and method statements, even though I done both at college.

Last week I went to an asbestos awareness session that lasted 4 hours, and basically if we see white dust, don't breath it in.
Click to expand...

<laugh>

I sent our boys on one too, turns out it was the wrong accreditation body we went too. <doh>

It's just ****in jobs for the boys nowadays.
 
Lucky you don't work in science. We have solvents in all the labs - the hoops you need to jump through (paperwork for every bottle, annual training, training to lift a 2.5 litre glass bottle FFS )to get even something as common as methanol in the door because if you drink enough you go blind and it can cause liver failure. It's also explosive when the bottle gets on the empty side.

Don't ****ing drink it. Don't ****ing smoke in a lab with solvents. It must be aimed at the type of people who shouldn't be left without their carer.

Even sterile water has a Material Safety Data Sheet detailing toxic limits of water. Unless everyone in the lab is ****ed up on eckies there's no danger of ingesting too much.
 
Every new start at our work has to fill out a risk assessment before being granted permission to go for a Forest Gump in the lavvies due to someone cracking one of the seats in the past.

**** me, what next.
 
Don't talk to me about Health and frickin Safety gone mad. Most workplace accidents can be prevented with a bit of bloody common sense which sadly is in short supply these days. People come out of University with their fancy degrees and they haven't an ounce of common sense. It's pathetic.
 
johnnybgoode83 said:
Don't talk to me about Health and frickin Safety gone mad. Most workplace accidents can be prevented with a bit of bloody common sense which sadly is in short supply these days. People come out of University with their fancy degrees and they haven't an ounce of common sense. It's pathetic.
Click to expand...

You tell 'em Richard Littlejohn, me old son!
 
Dont blame the companies, blame the ****ers that dont take responsibility for their own stupidity and end up suing successfully for something that was entirely their own fault.

The companies must be seen to be putting these initiatives in place in order to reduce insurance premiums and reduce risk of liability in a court. Im sure the company cant be arsed with the half of it as it is costly to implement, usually, and will have the effect of stifling productivity. Better than being sued out of business though
 
johnnybgoode83 said:
Don't talk to me about Health and frickin Safety gone mad. Most workplace accidents can be prevented with a bit of bloody common sense which sadly is in short supply these days. People come out of University with their fancy degrees and they haven't an ounce of common sense. It's pathetic.
Click to expand...

<laugh>

11-plus fail.
 
SleepySpecialK said:
Our department failed an H&S audit because someone put their fruit on the window sill. It was one apple and one orange.

WTF?
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Same with us on one construction site for throwing old tea out of the window to empty cups.
Brings in rats apparently! Our H&S bloke was bright red telling us he was so embarrased having to do that part of his job.
 
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