Elf n safety gone mad? A VIOLENT elf is terrorising a town by stalking locals and beating them up, it emerged yesterday. The creature is said to have big ears and always wears a pointy hat. It is believed to be behind up to a dozen brutal attacks on kids and old men. The gnome has even KNOCKED people off their bikes and rained PUNCHES on them. Cops in the Argentinian town of Suncho Corral have been flooded with so many complaints they have declared a state of alarm. A 14-year-old boy was one of the first victims last month. A source said: "He crossed by a dark area at the back of a school when he was hit from behind by the creature known as The Dwarf or Shorty-Eared One. "He was finally able to get away from its clutches." A cyclist was also punched off his bike by the elf. It then barred his way and said: "You shall not pass through here" - before beating the rider unconscious.
In reality, Ryan Williams is playing for Gainsborough Trinity, along with Ryan Kendall, under manager Brian Little.
I follow Ryan Kendall on twitter. All he seems to do is go on holiday and buy flashy watches, what kind of wages would he be on down there. I saw him going on about a watch he bought for £12k once.
