Toffees triumph over toothless Toon.

Toffees triumph over toothless Toon.

Newcastle 0 Everton 3

Newcastle tumbled to their sixth home league defeat of the season as absent manager Alan Pardew served his third and final stadium ban.

But it wasn't just the manager who went missing, as Everton scored three goals when the United defence was also absent, Ross Barkley in particular taking advantage to waltz through to open the scoring after 22 minutes.

The Magpies had already squandered a couple of fine chances, Yoan Gouffran scuffing two efforts that he should have buried.

The visitors had failed to take advantage of half a dozen corners but ironically they scored from one of our's as the Toffees broke and Barkley evaded a number of challenges before blasting the ball past Tim Krul into the Gallowgate net.

United's attempted reply came via a long range effort from Cheick Tiote that hit former Magpie Silvain Distin and Papiss Cisse appealed in vain for a penalty five minutes before the break.

But it wasn't long after half-time that Everton doubled their lead when Gerard Deulofeu crossed for Romelu Lukaku to turn the ball home at the near post with Krul getting injured in the process.

Tiote had another long range effort saved by Howard and Gouffran thumped a volley narrowly over the bar as Hatem Ben Arfa replaced Luuk De Jong.

And it was a fabulous run from the substitute that set up Vurnon Anita 12 minutes from the end but somehow Anita put it wide of the post with the goal gaping.

That proved costly when Leon Osman wrapped up the points with three minutes remaining as he dispatched a well hit drive past Krul as the ball broke to him on the right of the box.

A late write up on the game from NUFC.com

 

Toothless and gutless would maybe be more precise.

 

If you listen to John Anderson and Mick Lowes on BBC Newcastle you'd have thought Newcastle were the unluckiest team in the world. They must watch the game in a parallel universe, those two. Their version is always totally different from that of other media outlets.

 

Everton have quality something we are missing.

 

A bit of heart would be a big help!

 

Think a lot of our players had night off. Back four poor,midfield gave ball away too easily and pushed off ball. LDJ looked poor. Cisse and Tiote tried for me. Fed up with Sissoko doing the woe is me thing when decision goes against him.

 

I wasn't at the game and only saw the highlights, so I can't really comment, but the stats looked like it was an even game.

You missed a couple of sitters and we were clinical (for once) so maybe the difference was a bit more quality in the final 3rd.

 

I'd have said Tiote was our star man, if we could have had a star man. Cisse looked hungry enough to get on the score sheet but nobody else except Krul turned up.

 

Agree .

 

I watched the entire match, only "sitter" was with the score at 0-2. It was what I am fast becoming to recognise as a "typical" Newcastle performance. To be fair, I think we've needed an identity for some time. Seems a bit of a missed opportunity that our "identity" seems to be an inability to score, threaten the oppositions goal or be able to adapt within a game.

Still cannot get the corners out of my head - who the fck, in modern football, thinks "floating the ball to the tallest guy at the back post" is going to fcking work? Step forward, Alan Pardew. Hilarious that after the Fulham defeat, the press asked Carver about the rubbish corners, his comment back was that "we were definitely going to work on our set plays". The result? Float them to Williamson. The only corners that didn't were even worse. Such a joke.

 

At the risk of having WP/DMW jumping on my bones, I wish he'd step forward off the Quayside and into the Tyne and go out to sea with all the other floaters.

Either that or jump on a plane and head back dan saf to Landan.

 

There's no excuse for our shocking set pieces. It's not rocket science. You don't under any circumstances float a ball to the far post against teams that have tall defenders. Also, bringing Shola on and hitting the ball long to the guy is really starting to p*ss people off. Alan Pardew needs to shove his dinosaur tactics where the sun doesn't shine.

 

Totally agree with you.

 

Let's face it we don't do corners. Anita took one at leazes end and it went straight to Everton players.

 

Let's face it, Anita the smallest guy in the team is on the goal line for corners, what's he going to do, grab a step ladder and head a high cross away?

 

The more I think about it, the less I think Pardew even has a tactic. Think about it - no-one would proactively tell a player "aim for Shola", right? But when Shola's on the field, what are you going to do? Playing it over the top, or through the channels, is not an option. Besides which, when you're as limited as Paul Dummett, all you can really do is get the ball as far away from you as possible. Willo used to do it when he was struggling, Danny Simpson too - when you're a bit rubbish, you tend to aim long and playing Shola - who should have been binned 5 years ago - gives you an excuse.

Look at the way they played vs. Everton. Sometimes they would collectively look like they'd remembered something, and all fall back to two banks of four. More often, they'd forget. They're not playing tactics. LDJ/Cisse looked like they'd met just before kick off, it didn't look like they were being told to work in a certain way, for one to drag a CB left or right, for the other to drop deep. Anita/Tiote just did, well, stuff. They got it, they passed to each other and occasionally they'd pass to Gouffran or Sissoko, whichever one moved infield quickest. What we then had was two strikers who like crosses watching as their own players head towards them with the ball, it's insensible.

And the corners are an archaic disgrace, I've already mentioned it. But to have scored once in the entire of Pardew's tenure is obscene. I mean, who the fck tells a left footer to keep taking the left sided corners? Floated outswingers against Stones and Distin, ffs. It's so inane, so basic, so poor I don't know where to begin. The really, really amusing thing about it is this - our strongest defender against crosses is Willo. When "practicing" these set plays, they MUST be using Willo as the 'attacker', meaning in a training situation our strongest header of a ball isn't in the training defense. I don't really need to highlight the abject stupidity of doing this kind of thing yet, remarkably, this must be happening!! It's so blindly stupid that it cannot possibly be true...can it??

Look at the victories we've had, against the likes of Palace, Hull, Spurs - how many chances spurned by the opposition? Is our 'tactic' really "keep a clean sheet and hope for the best"? It doesn't ever seem more detailed than that. People refer back to the sale of Cabaye as pivotal in removing our identity, but that's horsec0ck, unless the 'tactic' is just "give it to Cabaye". It's like being at fcking school, and even then in the 2nd eleven.

Honestly, the bloke's utterly reprehensible.

 

The fact he's playing people like Sissoko totally out of position sums him up. No wonder the guy is anonymous a lot of the time. I'm sick of his excuses, his smarmy grin and the standard of football that is served up by that clown. A section of West Ham fans warned us what would happen and they were on the money.

 

He could at least get it over the first man as I said he passed it straight to Everton players who cleared and went forward. I don't have a problem with Anita there lad tries just want better corners.

 

A bloke who has every attribute to become a Yaya Toure style player is stuck on the wing, because Pardew has no fcking clue what else to do. The only reason Sissoko has managed to shine out there is because he does have ability, pace to burn and a hell of an engine. But whereas every team with a similar player manages to play a Sissoko-type in the middle, we can't.

You're right about the Hammers fans - they said it for ages, said that we'd get a little bit of sunshine followed by perpetual rain. How right they were.

 

Sissoko is a box to box midfielder. Anyone with half a brain who watched Toulouse before he signed for us would have seen that. Explosive runs from inside his own half, ripping the opposition to pieces. He is NOT a winger. Pardew needs to f*** off with sticking him out there. He's wasted.