If you were his boss. Ill start. "You are doing a great job kid, dont listen to the haters, haters will by their very definition, hate. Just some teething problems at the minute but you have my full backing and I know you will turn it round. You are a proven winner, dont let anyone tell you otherwise."
You are doing a fantastic job and we have total confidence in you. Would you like to spend some more money?
David just think about it. If you would have stayed at Everton where admittedly you were (and in some peoples eyes still are) a legend you would never have given ABU's just a hilarious (and at times eye wateringly funny season) As a gooner I have nothing but respect for you. You have attempted to take over a task of such magnitude only a hand full of managers on this planet could have even come close to emulating Sir Alex. You david (and dont take this the wrong way) are not one of them. You took a title winning side and completely destroyed them. Wenger has been trying to do that for 8 years so dont ever underestimate that as an achievement. Lastly Dave and this point is crucial. Refs dont like you, they dont believe you have what it takes to lead them as Sir Alex did so they are making your life a misery.
David, how would you like your P45, email, text or to be told by your missus after she has read the paper
David, its plain to see you need an escape route from your present predicament at Utd. Just copy a former Utd manager's antics and get caught banging the physio's wife. #tommydocandmary
Keep on spending Dave. What we need are some more no 10s. Spend another £200m on wages and fees on red zone players and play them wherever you like
Dave, who's that bloke next to you on the bench? Seriously Dave, who the **** is he and what the hell does he do?
Dear Moyes, I love you. Thank you for all the hard work you do at United. Please sign this 20 year contract extension. There is a £300million early cancellation clause so we're screwed if we ever let you go. You are my hero, love Manchester United.
I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!
I'd say "here's a few sacks with chains and point at the nearest river, dispose of most of the first team and we'll give you 200m to spend in the summer on 7 donkeys to add to Avatar Rooney and RvP"
Stop spending all day on t watter, Not 606, Swansea and Chelsea forums talking bollocks and get some f ucking work done
Replace Round with Gary Neville, clear some deadwood while signing decent replacements, play Mata in the number 10 role and lets go again next season.
