Off Topic The last poster wins thread NSFW

... Notes left in milk bottles...
Maybe older forum members remember milk deliveries in bottles and the Milkie was almost part of the family.


Dear milkman:

I've just had a baby, please leave another one..

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.

Cancel one pint after the day after today.

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.

Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.

Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.

Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.

Sorry about yesterday's note.. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.

When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.

Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk.

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday.

Milkman please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.

 

http://www.sadanduseless.com/2014/02/faces-of-olympic-figure-skating/

 

Some crackers there mind..

 

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##All true anarl..

 

Not a mention of jumpers for goalposts?

x

 

in respect of the toon community, jumpers are for lying on for money

 

I suspect there was a few jumpers on the Tyne Bridge when we stuffed them 3-0 [again]....

 

no mention of dog **** hazzard either ... especially when heading the ball

 

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Hahahaha

 

Just had the displeasure of sitting through the film version of Inspector Gadget...This has to be a top contender of the worst film ever made...

 

no offence, i'm gonna win this ****er

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Win what? A pair of squabbling tits!....Plenty of them on here already marra..

 

bridge street

sunderland

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Oh yes..


[video=youtube;c9FS1bxaGTg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9FS1bxaGTg[/video]

 

The Western Ukrainians in particular are known for their strong affinity with Poles..

 

Very good mate.

 

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and from the USA for those liking big tits......lol

[video=youtube;lZAWFajua7g]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZAWFajua7g#t=554[/video]

 

Hard to tell which one caught the eye the most..