You Know Things Are Bad At Fulham When⦠1. You tell everyone in the pub that Berbatov will save the season. 2. You get up the next morning and discover he has signed for Monaco. 3. You only go to the Cottage to watch the half time shoot out. 4. The only points we are getting regularly are from Parker and Sidwell yellow cards. 5. Jol tells the fans to get behind the team. 6. Rene tells the fans to get behind the team. 7. The only laugh you have during the game is when the guy behind you says, âremember when we used to chant âDicks Outâ?â 8. The guy next to him shouts, âbring back the Samaritans!â. 9. You wish we hadnât sold Zoltan Gera. 10. You only go to the Cottage to hear âDiddyâ David mispronounce the opposition team names.
Absolutely love these. I have been feeling guilty all day about this and need to tell somebody. I actually laughed last night when Sheffield United's goal went in. It just seemed like the appropriate response. I wasn't pleased we lost the game, but it was one of those 'if you don't laugh, you'll cry' scenarios. I hope you can all forgive me. I was going to lump on FFC to qualify at 1/3, so glad I didn't now.
Bandit - now that is funny because so did I ! It was such a poor game and we got what we deserved. Anyway, I'm blanking this game from the memory bank.
Christ. Me too! They scored and I walked up to the TV chuckling tben switched it off. Feel loads better now for fessing up! Cheers Bandy.
Actually had more or less similar reaction. Laughed to myself and thought, it couldn't get any worse but did!
Seriously, so did I. The señora looked at me like I was mad and I really couldn't explain why I did it to her but it just seemed the right reaction.
I could see Rene and Ray having a little chuckle on the touchline too, seems laughter really is infectious!
You Know Things Are Bad At Fulhan When⦠11. The guy beside you at the game describes Darren Bent as Junoesque. 12. You only go to the Cottage to see if Roy Hodgson is in the stand. 13. Our striker gets booked and the home fans shout âOff! Off! Off!â 14. During a game you wonder what âZveroticaâ is an anagram of. 15. You adopt a stray cat and call it âBryanâ. 16. You go to a Liverpool away game and help the taxi driver to steal a hub cap for his car. 17. You get excited because the expert analysis in the Match Day programme is by Ken Myers. 18. You refuse to give Adel Taarabt 60p for his bus fare. 19. During a game you start wondering, whatever happened to the âGreen Poleâ in the Hammy End. 20. You help a puzzled man wandering the streets find his parked car and discover his name is Hugo Rodallega. 21. You only go to the Cottage to watch the early kick off on TV. 22. Ray Wilkins is the manager.
You start looking at teams currently in the Championship to plan potential away days next season…. I done this travelling back from the Southampton game last weekend
I don't know, Once, just once I get us knocked out of the Europa league, and some people will never let me forget. Mind you, Mrs Captain does bake exceedingly good biscuits, almost worth the destruction of our Europa dreams. Almost.
You Know Things Are Bad At Fulhan When… 23. The ‘Spot the Ball’ competition featuring Bobby Zamora is a double spread. 24. They switch off the floodlights when Manchester United get a corner. 25. You celebrate Fulham being ’promoted’ to Division 2, then realise that with the introduction of the Premier League they’ve changed the numbers of the leagues. 26. You only go to the Cottage to see if the ‘M’ would fall off the GMB shirts again. 27. The guy behind you announces, “and of course, you can’t tell if he’s match fit until he’s played a game”. 28. You are disappointed when the Club announce a ‘Retro Sale’ and find out it’s for shirts. 29. Our goalkeeper declares that when he said “caught one at the weekend” he was actually referring to his fishing trip. 30. You start chucking marshmallows at a guy on the tube because he looks like Martin Jol. 31. Fulham are first on MOTD. 32. You only go to the Cottage for the ROAR. 33. The Club send you an email in February, inviting you to renew your season ticket for next year at the same price. 34. Shad Khan says, “Alan who?”.
You Know Things Are Bad At Fulhan When… 35. ‘Viva El Fulham’ replaces ‘Palladio’ to introduce the teams. 36. During the first half you successfully complete the ‘Word Search’ in the Match Day programme 37. Neil Kinnock is invited to be a Club Ambassador 38. You only go to the Cottage because the papers said Hugh Grant is taking Liz Hurley to the game. 39. You call your pet tortoise “Berba”. 40. Your Community Order involves whitewashing the Fulham graffiti before filming a series of Minder 41. You realise we haven't got a new signing despite the guy behind you shouting for 90 minutes, "Mark Up! Mark Up!". 42. Your happy that Jack Grimmer is ineligible for the game against Port Vale. 43. Bill Clinton called his autobiography, “One Snog For Promotion”. 44. The Match Day programme includes reaching the Autoglass Trophy semi-final in the ’Honours List’. 45. You only go to the Cottage to see if Derek Boateng has signed yet. 46. Your son thought you supported “Fulhamnil” since that’s what the announcer said every Saturday night in “The Classified Football Results”. 47. Noel Gallagher is allowed into the George Cohen lounge. 48. There is no ‘sell-on’ clause for JAR. 49. You only go to the Cottage to add to your Clapper collection. 50. The steward chucks you out even though the fight was only whether Ray Wilkins more resembled Yoda or Uncle Fester.
