TV Listings from the past

Cunt Punt

A quiz show with a difference. The winner gets to boot Katie Hopkins right in the hole.

 

Row Wars: Blackadder star Rowan Atkinson narrates the tragic story of Bill Struth.

 

Noel Edmunds Multi-Coloured Serial Killings

 

Post-watershed. Too scary for kids.

 

DLT's Cupboard of Fun: The Hairy Cornflake invites young women into his closet. The last to leave wins a test tube of his Jizz.

 

It's Otter Madness: Chris Packham, in memory of close-friend and otter victim Terry Nutkins, wages all out war in a fight to the death against an otter colony on the River Severn.

 

My Star's In Their Eyes: Matthew Kelly show his ringpiece to children.

 

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Black in Black: Cilla Black's sexual tour of Africa. Free ten minute teaser at 23:50.

 

Surprise Surprise

The rape version.

 

Upstairs Downstairs ; a young mans guide to acceptable sexual etiquette.

 

Auf Wiedersehen Pet: A group of Geordie labourers join up to bury a beloved, yet violently raped, pet dog.

 

Celebrity Reach Around:Cilla Black hosts celebrities dating Ladyboys/women and try to guess whats what with the denouement being the reach around to much amusement for the audience!

 

Is this, erm, only open to celebrities?

 

It wouldn't surprise me if the Japanese already have a version.

 

Perpetual Motion: A man from the Isle of Barra walks in circles due to one leg being shorter than the other. This is the entire show.

 

Pet Rescue - Rolf Harris joins the Pet Rescue team in Newcastle, where he faces his toughest challenge yet - separating an 18 stone Geordie from his beloved pooch, and fighting back hordes of animal lovers desperate to offer a home to a spaniel that has no gag reflex.

Scenes of strong violence and of a sexual nature from the start.

 

FAIL

 

That has rocked me to my core. You wound me with such biting sarcasm.